Today, Thomas, James, and Jack are the exact age that Ellie was when they were born. Both Wes and I recall a nurse who was critical of us having Ellie visit at the hospital. Though Ellie acted very well for her age, I now see from an outside perspective how young an almost two-and-a-half-year-old can seem, especially in that environment.

What stands out now is how mature Ellie was (and still is) and how much further along she was in her cognitive development than the boys are at this age. The professional in me is curious about gender differences, birth order differences, and simply the effects of being multiples. The mother in me worries and always wonders what we can be doing differently to advance their development. At the end of the day, I have to let it go and be grateful for normally developing children who are very healthy.

Looking back through the pictures of Ellie and the boys just after they were born was interesting. I don’t have much memory of Ellie looking like she did in the pictures, but I remember being with her and experiencing the events. It is almost like I take the image I have of her today and project that onto a two-year-old experience. I perceived her as very mature at the time, but I see her as baby-like in the photos. Now, more than ever, I feel the effects of lost time and days and months wished away. It still feels like we pass each stage with James, Jack, and Thomas with a sense of relief and victory and don’t really look back. Meanwhile, it is a much more nostalgic feeling when thinking about time and milestones passing with Ellie. It is odd to live in the middle of both realities.

The other thing I concluded from looking at the pictures are the similarities between Ellie and Thomas. I recognize this often, but I see the physical similarities highlighted here. One thing people often forget is that fraternal triplets are genetically the same as any set of siblings. So, Thomas is just as likely to have similarities to Ellie as he is to Jack or James. Besides the obvious similarities that occur in sharing a developmental age, I truly think Ellie and Thomas are the most similar of any combination of our children. They share the curly hair, blue eyes, fuller faces, friendliness, emotionality, tenderness, temper, facial expressions during tempers, and a zest for life.

Enjoy this trip down memory lane:

Ellie meeting her brothers for the first time:

Checking to see who's crying (hint: all of them!)

Keeping watch

Ellie and James (and they are best buds now, though not for the first two years)

Early days as a larger family

I think we are in a great place now and have settled into a more unified sense of parenting.

Ellie loves school. She enjoys the fact that she is the oldest in school and that her brothers are in the youngest class. The biggest challenge for Ellie has been social skills. This is the first year she is with kids she does not know from previous classes and away from her best friend. She is learning tough lessons about including others, dealing with exclusion, and having time away from good friends without it meaning that they are no longer friends. At times, this is a painful process to watch. At others, it is comical. We have hosted several play dates to foster some new friendships.

Ellie’s teacher reports that Ellie is great at figuring out ways to challenge herself once she has already mastered skills. This self-initiative seems like a great asset as she looks to start Kindgarten next year.

In preparation for Kindergarten, Ellie attends school five days a week. Many times I appreciate this time away for my benefit, and she certainly looks forward to going daily. However, I have recently been aware of how quickly time is passing and how much time she spends away. I am trying to hold on to more time with her and enjoy the moments we get. I have been increasingly keeping her up during “quiet time,” since she no longer naps and since she is very easy to be around. This has given us more moments to talk or do our respective tasks near each other. I have greatly appreciated a refined sense of my calling to be her mother and invest in her as much as I can while I have her.

Ellie continues to feel attached to James. It is clear that she loves being with her brothers. The moments of drama are many as four children with a tendency toward stubbornness, self-interest, and self-initiative try to function together. There are many highs and lows.

On a regular basis, Wes and I get moments alone with Ellie, and we are enamored by her friendliness, thoughtfulness, humor, and lightheartedness. She and Wes have really enjoyed some Sunday afternoon football games. Her company may be the only bright side to an otherwise dismal football season in the Carolinas.

We keep to a pretty strict rule about limiting extra curriculars. Ellie has chosen soccer for the past eight months and seems to enjoy it. She is just as content going to playgroup or dinner at the church, however. It seems important for her to get out and to be around others. Furthermore, she is a creature of habit and likes having a routine and anticipating the designated activity for the day. Many of these qualities demonstrate what a blend of her parents Ellie is.

It seems that Ellie’s curiosity is on high and so she reports things she learns or asks about things she does not know on a regular basis. Topics range from sports and faith to nature and math. It is with this curiosity that we look forward to the holiday season. Life through the eyes of a child is magical and gives us all something to reflect on.

Fast forward to today. Wes and I attended Ellie’s school conference. The primary purpose is to discuss kindergarten readiness. Not surprisingly, Ellie is definitely ready. I was very proud and impressed to hear that the teachers are so amazed by her advanced cognitive skills that they have gotten her her own set of books and keep them on a special shelf so she can read them. The highlight, however, was hearing the teacher’s feedback that Ellie loves her family, enjoys belonging to it, and that her family is the most special thing in her life. It seems like this would be true of many children, but the tone with which the teacher said it and the fact that she reported it at all, seemed to indicate it was unique and important. I cannot tell you what a relief it was to hear that the very thing that I feared would impact Ellie the most, has indeed impacted her, but for the better. I treasure this reassurance and the constant gift Ellie is to us.

I have included a photo of each, but it is impossible to catch them cute and not grumpy. Jack has never been cooperative with photos, but even James and Thomas were a challenge on this day. I guess we get to savor their cuteness on our own!

JAMES
James continues to be a mystery. He shocked us all by being the most enthusiastic about school. He likes playing with a few of the girls and enjoys all aspects of school, including art. He has been a bit less clingy to mommy, but I think this is because Ellie has really taken to him. She wants to include him in things she does, and he appreciates the extra attention and direction, for the most part. He is generally intrigued by what adults are up to, so Ellie provides a window into an older world when we are otherwise unavailable. The million dollar question continues to be whether his moments of frustration, stubbornness, and sadness are a part of his personality or the result of some underlying medical concerns. He is prone to being sick and we have recently discovered–in large part because of his teacher’s astuteness–that he may have chronic fluid in his ears. We will see how this all plays out and we hope to bring him relief if there is any to be had. I think James is also on the verge of a speech breakthrough, which would help him to better communicate his needs.
As a funny aside, James is obsessed with the color orange. Any object that is orange, he tries to claim and possess. We recently drove through Clemson’s main street and he was enamored by all of the orange paraphernalia. I think he may have already completed his college selection process!

JACK
Jack is one squirmy boy. The minute he gets into his highchair, he acts like he has a classic case of ants in his pants. He continues to get engrossed in his play and is pretty happy until someone interferes. His current obsession is his big wheel bike. Part of his restlessness at the table is related to his fear that if anyone gets out before him, then they will take his bike. Jack wavers between having the worst whine (when he gets worked up about his brothers bothering him) and having the cutest smile ever! His teacher reports that Jack does NOT like art. We have gotten a few projects sent home that say “For Jack, From James.” Jack tends to be fairly independent and easygoing, that is when he is not frustrated or impatient. We have observed he and Thomas engaging in cooperative play together, especially when Ellie and James are engaged. Though Jack is not overly verbal, he is very easy to figure out.

THOMAS
Or “La” as Jack and James call him (I am puzzled by the origin). Thomas called himself “La” for awhile, too, but now it is “Tom-ease.” Thomas continues his zest for life. He is equally expressive in both positive and negative ways. Thomas has become very verbal, which means that I feel I know him the best, because he has the verbal skills and personality to make sure I do. He likes to be the center of attention. When his class photo collage came home, Thomas’ photo was in the center and considerably larger than his classmates’. Even Ellie noticed it and likes to tell people that Thomas is either “Mr. Personality” or “Big Personality.” Furthermore, since he is the only talkative boy, what he says is funny and helpful. Once we have four children talking nonstop, all bets are off!
Much of Thomas’ conversations are about people (teachers, babysitter, best friends, and grandparents). Second in frequency are things related to himself. Whatever he hears, he repeats and personalizes (“Thomas go to school,” “want more jelly, too!”). He frequently brings himself into conversations i have with the other children. Sometimes it seems like he talks just to have something to say (I think he gets this from his dad!).
A few cute or memorable sayings:
He often says “please,” “thank you,” and “welcome” (and often all at one time).
He loves to tattle on Ellie. For this brief period in life, it is very helpful. My favorite to date is when he came running to me to report, “Ellie push(ed) me,” while Ellie retorted “I didn’t push you, Thomas.”. They both insisted on their stances and got increasingly frustrated. Finally, Ellie was so exasperated she shouted “I didn’t push Thomas, I HIT Thomas!” She didn’t so much mind being faulted, she just couldn’t stand his inaccuracy. This happens frequently between the two where he says something wrong and they both insist they are right. Like I said, all of this is manageable with only Thomas talking. Yet, we’re eager for Jack and James to let us into their world a bit more.

When it became clear several months ago that Thomas was going to have curly hair, I admit I panicked. I anticipate years of haircare challenges for all of us. His curls are super cute, but no teenager wants to be “cute.” And, I think most of the curly haired boys I know tend to go long and shaggy, and I am more of a clean cut kind of person. And for now, I am the only person with an opinion that matters!

More to the point, I was not sure if Thomas needed his haircut. It seems to kink up so much, I didn’t think there would be much to cut. However, I took James in for his cut and I asked the stylist for her opinion on Thomas. She assured me she would just clean up the sides and make it more like a boy’s cut. I like the results. It is very subtle, but it got rid of the “finger-in-the-light-socket” look. Thomas didn’t cry, but he said “all done” repeatedly during the cut and was relieved when it was over.

The doctor had no concerns regarding Thomas. I was most surprised by his weight. He feels several pounds heavier than James. In fact, Wes said that whatever James weighs, he’d add five pounds for Thomas. Thomas is a solid kid, much more so than his one- to three- pound difference would suggest.

I’m thrilled to have these appointments behind us and to have had such a wonderful report!

Weight: 28.2lbs. (46%)
Height: 35in. (51%)

Dr. Ball noted that his growth stats doubled in percentage since 18 months. Go James!

Weight: 27.2lbs (33%)
Height: 35in (51%)

Jack is so cute and delightful to be with. The doctor commented that he was chatty and verbal, which is interesting since he is the least verbal and talkative of our four children. Such is the caution against comparison. He may just need some one on one time to come out of his shell.

There were no concerns with his development or overall health; that is always a joy to hear.

Here are his growth stats:

Weight: 25.8lbs. (17%)
Height: 34in. (25%)

I’ll include a cute picture of Jack from a church luncheon on Sunday: