2 Years, 9 Months-old

Ellie is rapidly approaching 3-years-old. Something tells me the threes are going to be much more wild and fun than the twos!

Here are some updates on Ellie at 2 3/4 years:

• Ellie is all about being a big sister. Some of her favorite activities revolve around selecting diapers for her brothers, determining which outfits to dress them in each day, and preparing for and giving them baths. These tasks have become so much a part of her routine that she wakes up and immediately asks me if she can pick out the brothers’ clothes.
• Ellie identifies particular things that are her favorites (i.e favorite outfit, favorite brother, favorite snack, favorite plate, favorite spoon, etc.). Though we don’t see the logic behind why these are her favorite things, her classifying them as such often guides her decision-making process.
• She has recently taken a liking to Legos, particularly the Thomas the Train set. She is skilled at replicating the pictures of buildings and objects to construct as well as erecting her own designs.
• She continues to be a child focused on organization and order. Although this may be as much a developmental stage as it is an indication of her long-term personality, it is alarming to see a child imitate some of her parents’ own quirks. For example, she will unwrap an entire package of diapers, proceed to sort them by Sesame Street character, and then place each set of character diapers into its own Ziploc bag and put them back into the closet. She finds this quite amusing and becomes easily upset if we interrupt her or do not permit her to do this. Additionally, she has a particular order of doing things from which she refuses to deviate. For instance, she likes to climb into her booster seat, buckle in BEFORE putting on her bib, and to put on her bib BEFORE she scoots in to the table. I have become so accustomed to observing and following the established protocol that I do it automatically to avoid conflict or tantrums. However, this makes it difficult when Wes tries to take part in our routine as he is not as accustomed to her preferences and she becomes hysterical if the order of things is not just so. This has been an interesting development to watch and I wonder how it will evolve, or if we need to intervene.
• Ellie slept in a “big girl bed” in the mountains and then came home and looked around to see if her crib had been replaced by a bed. Mom and Dad need to get it together and outfit her with a “big girl” room. Our biggest challenge will be implementing and enforcing the “no pacifier in the big bed” rule.

We look forward to Christmas and all of the fanfare that Ellie will truly get to be involved in this year. It is an exciting time as we develop our own traditions, but also a bit of a challenging time as we balance the demands of the babies with our desire to provide a special holiday for Ellie.  Nonetheless, it is quite enjoyable to see things through the eyes of a child, for whom all of this is observed and celebrated for the first time. We’re incredibly thankful for the joy and laughter our precious daughter brings us. She is a true gift to our family.

Thanksgiving 2009

Thanksgiving marked the first time that the boys had left Charlotte and the first time that Ellie or I had left since March. This is such a departure from our previous lifestyle (by four months-old, Ellie had already been in 14 states) and we were definitely ready to get away to the mountains.

The children all did well in the car. The babies mostly slept and Ellie did get restless, but we had enough activities to occupy her for the three-hour car trip.

Packing was not nearly as hard as I thought it would be, although I did prepare for several days prior to our departure. The hardest part was being outside of our home with all of the organization and systems we have in place to minimize the chaos and keep us sane. However, the ability to have so many extra sets of hands and NOT be stuck at home outweighed any disorganization or inconvenience we felt.

Here are pictures from Thanksgiving and a few weeks prior:

Meeting of the minds

The group therapy facilitator

Three little monkeys: Jack, Thomas, & James

Ready to brave the cold!

Family Photo

Three months-old

Jack, looking awfully serious

Mommy lost this staring contest

Thomas, not eager to smile

This perfectly captures Thomas' reaction when he does not want to be put down

James, another serious child

James and Jack (and to think we once fit all THREE in this boppy!)

Halloween 2009

Here are our cute cupcake and three peas in a pod (or three peas in three pods to be precise):

James, Thomas, Ellie, and Jack

Ellie, the cupcake

Thomas

Mommy with Jack

James

It was fun to enjoy Halloween with Ellie, who could truly appreciate it for the first time.  I was not a fan of the attention given to us during our neighborhood parade, but the highlight was being able to trick-or-treat with Ellie and Wes without the boys (thanks Mimi and Papa).  Ellie loved picking out candy, and she was even more excited to give away candy to trick-or-treaters at our house.  We like that she can balance greed with generosity!

A Month of Transition

A lot of changes have occurred this month.  We have moved away from relying on family to greater independence and reliance on a daytime nanny and church Care Team helpers.  The Care Team has been amazing and we are so often humbled by how generous people are in sacrificing their time with their own families to be with us as long as we need them; often well into the evening hours.

We have also diminished our night time help now that the boys are extending their night time sleep.  They go from 11pm to 8am without a feeding.  They sleep well until about 4am, at which point they take turns waking up and needing a variety of interventions to soothe back to sleep.

The babies have also transitioned away from the intense period of fussiness to a more settled and alert daytime state.  This is a great relief to us as parents and it has allowed us to have some nice interactions with them and to observe their discovery of one another and begin the unique experience of sibling bonding.

There are still some very rough days that just happen when parenting four unpredictable children.  Our house has been filled with illness, and so each child has had a several day period of difficulty.  As I reflect upon the time now, I have noticed two paradoxes:  I have never been less alone, but more lonely and also I have never been so busy, while also bored.  This experience is isolating and and our daily routine can be quite monotonous. This is a season where much is required of us, but we remain hopeful that we’ll see the fruits of our labor in the coming months and years.

So, here’s an update on each of the children:

ELLIE

• Ellie has showed an increased interest in potty training, though her motivation and interest in it is quite variable.
• She has had a dramatic increase in whining.  This is quite difficult for me as I would be intolerant of it in general, but with three demanding babies added to the mix, I am extremely impatient with her.  Many of my friends have noticed similar behavior in their children as they approach three years-old, so at least this is probably not a product of something we’re doing wrong as parents!
• She has become determined to have things in a given order.  She wants each brother to be in his respective car seat and she assigns them particular blankets and toys that they must have.  She also has a set order of which books we should read before bed and which songs we should sing.  I know this is a normal developmental stage that helps her to feel secure and in control, but it does contribute to the aforementioned monotony for us as parents.
• Because our house is loud and the boys can get pretty cranked up, Ellie has learned to say, “I can’t hear!  They cry all day long.”  I feel guilty that she has to share our time with her brothers, but even more so that she often has to eat dinner or read books surrounded by the sound of her brothers crying.
• She has determined–for reasons unknown to us–that Thomas is her favorite brother.  She gets upset when he does not sit by her in the car or when it is not his turn for a bottle.  She will state, emphatically, her preference for Thomas.
• She continues to be quite caring toward her brothers.  She will try to soothe them by giving them toys, telling them it will be “okay,” and by giving them their pacifiers.  This morning, she even got tissue and wiped Thomas’ runny nose.  It is delightful to see this side of her and the relationship she’s beginning to develop with her brothers.

JACK

• He is very interactive and alert and quick to smile.  He reminds me of Ellie in this regard.
• Though he is the easiest to get to smile, he is also the hardest to soothe when he gets upset, particularly because he does not take a pacifier.  Therefore, he cries the most and smiles the most!
• He continues to be a big spitter and his reflux is somewhat helped by medication.  At least it is more of a laundry problem and less of a contributor to his fussiness than it used to be.

JAMES

• When he gets mad, he is VERY mad and difficult to console.  Thankfully, this does not happen that often unless he is sick or it is mealtime.
• He’s the most efficient eater and best sleeper.
• Overall, he is generally more content than his brothers, but he asserts his need for attention as well.

THOMAS

• He is rather serious.  He was the last to smile and it takes a lot of work to get him to do it.  He is super cute once he does, but there are no cheap grins from him.
• He is a snuggler.  He loves to be held and has a distinct (almost offended) cry when he gets put down.

This is a long, wordy post.  Look forward to Halloween photos this weekend!

Two-month check-up

All of the boys had a great check up today.  Even the nine shots went fairly well, minus the blood spewing one with James.  This week, the babies have started going 11pm-8am between feedings.  Sometimes they need a “snack” at 5:30, but this feels like some significant progress.  I won’t say they are “sleeping” through the night, as they need pacifiers and cry out a lot during the night, but we are headed in the right direction.

Here are their stats:

Jack:  10lb, 5oz (20%); 22 1/2 in. (35%)

James: 10lb, 1oz (15%); 22 in. (18%)

Thomas: 10lb, 9oz (24%); 21 1/2 in. (7%)

Two months-old

Thomas

James

Jack

Ellie, not to be left out

On Our Own

As of last weekend, our families have moved out of Charlotte, forcing us to survive on our own after 7 weeks of non-stop help.

We survived, but it is very grueling.  We are also very blessed to have the support of our church community and many friends who have come by to help and will continue to do so.  We are also going to have a lady start helping us during the days.

However, let me give you a glimpse of one day this week as we did it on our own:

12:10am–pumped

12:40am–back to bed

4am–pumped

4:30am–back to bed

6:15am- woke up, got dressed, washed bottles from last night, prepared bottles for the day

6:40am-night nanny departed

6:45-7:15am- went for a run

7:15am-showered, dressed, prepared Ellie’s breakfast, warmed bottles, set up for feeding, woke up babies, diapered and changed babies

8am–fed three babies, pumped, got Ellie fed and ready for school

8:45am–Wes and Ellie left for school; babies very fussy; washed bottles, cleaned up breakfast, started load of laundry

9:15am–helped babies settle in for nap, finished getting ready for day, vacuumed, paid bills, returned phone call, cleaned up around house

10:30am–checked email

10:35am–friends arrived to help with 11am feeding

11am–fed three babies, pumped

11:45am–loaded up babies in car seats, said goodbye to friends

noon–loaded up car, headed to school to pick up Ellie

12:30pm–at school, waited in carpool line, wished I brought something to read

12:43pm–Ellie loaded up, headed back home

1:10pm–unloaded all four kids, got Ellie changed, read Ellie books and put down for nap

1:40pm–cleaned up Ellie’s school bag and lunch, reorganized from car trip, prepared bottles, received meal from church family, changed all three babies

2:00pm–fed all three babies at the same time by myself (!), pumped

2:45pm–got babies settled, washed bottles, prepared bottles for rest of day/night, folded laundry and put most of it away

3:15pm–put babies in car seats

3:30pm–got Ellie up, changed her, loaded car, took all four to playgroup

3:55pm–friends helped us get out of car at playgroup

4:4opm–left playgroup, had to get back in time for 5pm feeding

5pm–Wes arrived, fed all three babies, tried to entertain Ellie, pumped

5:45pm–prepped dinner, fed dog, washed bottles, calmed babies, calmed babies, calmed babies

6:10pm–ate dinner as a family

6:35pm–cleared table, did dishes, prepped bath

6:50pm–Ellie bathed

7:10pm–Ellie dressed, brushed teeth, read books, put to bed

7:35pm–prepped everything for night nanny, got myself ready for bed, warmed bottles, changed babies

8pm–fed three babies, pumped, settled babies for bedtime

8:45pm–washed bottles, put away rest of laundry, finished getting ready for bed, read for 10 minutes

9:15pm–lights out

Did I forget something?  I am very tired just reviewing it.  However,  it was a necessary day to build my confidence and help me get over the fear that I am completely dependent on others.  It is doable by myself, but there is no wiggle room in this schedule for fun or incidentals in life (hence, the need to have daytime help on board).  I also crashed the next day when the adrenaline wore off.  We’re recovering, sort of, this weekend.  Off to get the bottles ready!

Photo Update

I was organizing and clearing off photos from our camera:

Ellie's first day of school

Just the six of us!

Jack, 5 weeks old

Thomas, 6 weeks old

What’s all the Fuss?