Three months-old

Jack, looking awfully serious

Mommy lost this staring contest

Thomas, not eager to smile

This perfectly captures Thomas' reaction when he does not want to be put down

James, another serious child

James and Jack (and to think we once fit all THREE in this boppy!)

Halloween 2009

Here are our cute cupcake and three peas in a pod (or three peas in three pods to be precise):

James, Thomas, Ellie, and Jack

Ellie, the cupcake

Thomas

Mommy with Jack

James

It was fun to enjoy Halloween with Ellie, who could truly appreciate it for the first time.  I was not a fan of the attention given to us during our neighborhood parade, but the highlight was being able to trick-or-treat with Ellie and Wes without the boys (thanks Mimi and Papa).  Ellie loved picking out candy, and she was even more excited to give away candy to trick-or-treaters at our house.  We like that she can balance greed with generosity!

A Month of Transition

A lot of changes have occurred this month.  We have moved away from relying on family to greater independence and reliance on a daytime nanny and church Care Team helpers.  The Care Team has been amazing and we are so often humbled by how generous people are in sacrificing their time with their own families to be with us as long as we need them; often well into the evening hours.

We have also diminished our night time help now that the boys are extending their night time sleep.  They go from 11pm to 8am without a feeding.  They sleep well until about 4am, at which point they take turns waking up and needing a variety of interventions to soothe back to sleep.

The babies have also transitioned away from the intense period of fussiness to a more settled and alert daytime state.  This is a great relief to us as parents and it has allowed us to have some nice interactions with them and to observe their discovery of one another and begin the unique experience of sibling bonding.

There are still some very rough days that just happen when parenting four unpredictable children.  Our house has been filled with illness, and so each child has had a several day period of difficulty.  As I reflect upon the time now, I have noticed two paradoxes:  I have never been less alone, but more lonely and also I have never been so busy, while also bored.  This experience is isolating and and our daily routine can be quite monotonous. This is a season where much is required of us, but we remain hopeful that we’ll see the fruits of our labor in the coming months and years.

So, here’s an update on each of the children:

ELLIE

• Ellie has showed an increased interest in potty training, though her motivation and interest in it is quite variable.
• She has had a dramatic increase in whining.  This is quite difficult for me as I would be intolerant of it in general, but with three demanding babies added to the mix, I am extremely impatient with her.  Many of my friends have noticed similar behavior in their children as they approach three years-old, so at least this is probably not a product of something we’re doing wrong as parents!
• She has become determined to have things in a given order.  She wants each brother to be in his respective car seat and she assigns them particular blankets and toys that they must have.  She also has a set order of which books we should read before bed and which songs we should sing.  I know this is a normal developmental stage that helps her to feel secure and in control, but it does contribute to the aforementioned monotony for us as parents.
• Because our house is loud and the boys can get pretty cranked up, Ellie has learned to say, “I can’t hear!  They cry all day long.”  I feel guilty that she has to share our time with her brothers, but even more so that she often has to eat dinner or read books surrounded by the sound of her brothers crying.
• She has determined–for reasons unknown to us–that Thomas is her favorite brother.  She gets upset when he does not sit by her in the car or when it is not his turn for a bottle.  She will state, emphatically, her preference for Thomas.
• She continues to be quite caring toward her brothers.  She will try to soothe them by giving them toys, telling them it will be “okay,” and by giving them their pacifiers.  This morning, she even got tissue and wiped Thomas’ runny nose.  It is delightful to see this side of her and the relationship she’s beginning to develop with her brothers.

JACK

• He is very interactive and alert and quick to smile.  He reminds me of Ellie in this regard.
• Though he is the easiest to get to smile, he is also the hardest to soothe when he gets upset, particularly because he does not take a pacifier.  Therefore, he cries the most and smiles the most!
• He continues to be a big spitter and his reflux is somewhat helped by medication.  At least it is more of a laundry problem and less of a contributor to his fussiness than it used to be.

JAMES

• When he gets mad, he is VERY mad and difficult to console.  Thankfully, this does not happen that often unless he is sick or it is mealtime.
• He’s the most efficient eater and best sleeper.
• Overall, he is generally more content than his brothers, but he asserts his need for attention as well.

THOMAS

• He is rather serious.  He was the last to smile and it takes a lot of work to get him to do it.  He is super cute once he does, but there are no cheap grins from him.
• He is a snuggler.  He loves to be held and has a distinct (almost offended) cry when he gets put down.

This is a long, wordy post.  Look forward to Halloween photos this weekend!

Two-month check-up

All of the boys had a great check up today.  Even the nine shots went fairly well, minus the blood spewing one with James.  This week, the babies have started going 11pm-8am between feedings.  Sometimes they need a “snack” at 5:30, but this feels like some significant progress.  I won’t say they are “sleeping” through the night, as they need pacifiers and cry out a lot during the night, but we are headed in the right direction.

Here are their stats:

Jack:  10lb, 5oz (20%); 22 1/2 in. (35%)

James: 10lb, 1oz (15%); 22 in. (18%)

Thomas: 10lb, 9oz (24%); 21 1/2 in. (7%)

Two months-old

Thomas

James

Jack

Ellie, not to be left out

On Our Own

As of last weekend, our families have moved out of Charlotte, forcing us to survive on our own after 7 weeks of non-stop help.

We survived, but it is very grueling.  We are also very blessed to have the support of our church community and many friends who have come by to help and will continue to do so.  We are also going to have a lady start helping us during the days.

However, let me give you a glimpse of one day this week as we did it on our own:

12:10am–pumped

12:40am–back to bed

4am–pumped

4:30am–back to bed

6:15am- woke up, got dressed, washed bottles from last night, prepared bottles for the day

6:40am-night nanny departed

6:45-7:15am- went for a run

7:15am-showered, dressed, prepared Ellie’s breakfast, warmed bottles, set up for feeding, woke up babies, diapered and changed babies

8am–fed three babies, pumped, got Ellie fed and ready for school

8:45am–Wes and Ellie left for school; babies very fussy; washed bottles, cleaned up breakfast, started load of laundry

9:15am–helped babies settle in for nap, finished getting ready for day, vacuumed, paid bills, returned phone call, cleaned up around house

10:30am–checked email

10:35am–friends arrived to help with 11am feeding

11am–fed three babies, pumped

11:45am–loaded up babies in car seats, said goodbye to friends

noon–loaded up car, headed to school to pick up Ellie

12:30pm–at school, waited in carpool line, wished I brought something to read

12:43pm–Ellie loaded up, headed back home

1:10pm–unloaded all four kids, got Ellie changed, read Ellie books and put down for nap

1:40pm–cleaned up Ellie’s school bag and lunch, reorganized from car trip, prepared bottles, received meal from church family, changed all three babies

2:00pm–fed all three babies at the same time by myself (!), pumped

2:45pm–got babies settled, washed bottles, prepared bottles for rest of day/night, folded laundry and put most of it away

3:15pm–put babies in car seats

3:30pm–got Ellie up, changed her, loaded car, took all four to playgroup

3:55pm–friends helped us get out of car at playgroup

4:4opm–left playgroup, had to get back in time for 5pm feeding

5pm–Wes arrived, fed all three babies, tried to entertain Ellie, pumped

5:45pm–prepped dinner, fed dog, washed bottles, calmed babies, calmed babies, calmed babies

6:10pm–ate dinner as a family

6:35pm–cleared table, did dishes, prepped bath

6:50pm–Ellie bathed

7:10pm–Ellie dressed, brushed teeth, read books, put to bed

7:35pm–prepped everything for night nanny, got myself ready for bed, warmed bottles, changed babies

8pm–fed three babies, pumped, settled babies for bedtime

8:45pm–washed bottles, put away rest of laundry, finished getting ready for bed, read for 10 minutes

9:15pm–lights out

Did I forget something?  I am very tired just reviewing it.  However,  it was a necessary day to build my confidence and help me get over the fear that I am completely dependent on others.  It is doable by myself, but there is no wiggle room in this schedule for fun or incidentals in life (hence, the need to have daytime help on board).  I also crashed the next day when the adrenaline wore off.  We’re recovering, sort of, this weekend.  Off to get the bottles ready!

Photo Update

I was organizing and clearing off photos from our camera:

Ellie's first day of school

Just the six of us!

Jack, 5 weeks old

Thomas, 6 weeks old

What’s all the Fuss?

One Month Down

We made it through the first month!  Sometimes it feels like a moment in time and other times it feels like an eternity.  I’ve heard the first six months are the hardest (is that really true?), so I reassured myself today by thinking that I can do this five more times.  The hardest part is having any time for myself or trying to get anything done.  When I am content to just be entirely focused on the task of attending to each of our four children’s needs, I do okay.  The minute, however, that I begin to tackle other tasks—paying bills, making phone calls, writing thank you notes, organizing the house—someone (sometimes all four) begins to cry and the task is not accomplished.  This can easily lead to frustration and impatience.  I am learning to lower my expectations of myself as far as what I can accomplish each day.

All of the babies are healthy and have grown well this month according to their check up.  They continue to exclusively get my milk, but I know that their demands may soon exceed my supply.  I am content to be flexible and adaptable, not ordinarily my strongest areas.

Here are pictures, and a few words about the boys at one month:

James--Jack--Thomas

The pediatrician quickly assessed that James is laid back, Jack is worried, and Thomas is irritated.  This picture would seem to support that theory!  I cannot believe how much bigger they are in the boppy now than before…getting all three in is no longer going to happen.

James rooting on Jack...and holding hands

James and Thomas snuggling

Thomas..completely upset

None of the boys were in the mood to have their photos taken.  But, try getting all three dressed and fed and the camera ready…this is the best we could do.

Thomas weighed in at 8lb, 1oz!  He is very solid and well-advanced in head control and pushing up during tummy time.  His Pops calls him “Tank.”

James Parker Barry

James is a little less upset in this photo, but still not his usual calm self.  He weighed in at 7lb, 7oz and was pretty cooperative for his appointment.  He has started to assert his needs more (which I am glad about).  However, he reminds me of Ellie in that he is easily consoled by his pacifier…we’ve literally had to pry it out of his mouth he grips so tight!

Jack, also annoyed

Jack, at four days past his official due date, weighed 7lb, 9oz, which was exactly what Ellie weighed when she was born (at 4 days post-due date).  Ellie and Jack remind me of each other in their facial features and build, so this is an interesting coincidence.  Jack may have some reflux and he is on some drops for a pussy eye, but all are manageable and treatable.  I feel bad for his fussiness and try not to get too annoyed with him.  I hope some reflux medicine may restore him to a more peaceful state.

Thomas, more settled, but appears to be mad after the fight to get him settled

James, surrendering to Wes' swaddle

Jack...can he look any more angry?

So, you’ve seen them upset, then calm, but angry.  Hopefully we’ll have better luck capturing their sweetness next month.  I forgot how hard it is get pictures when babies haven’t learned how to pose like Ellie.

2 1/2 years-old

Today is Ellie’s half birthday.  If you ask her, she will already tell you she is “two and a half” instead of “two.”  Apparently the distinction is important.

Here’s what Ellie is like at this stage of her life:

* She does not like sarcasm.  If she tells us she went to camp today and one of us says, “no, you didn’t go to camp, did you?”  She gets very upset and says, “yes I did!”  Perhaps it is not sarcasm that is lost on her, but rather she does not like to be told she is wrong, especially when she is very aware and smart!

*Since she welcomed her little brothers this month, Ellie has demonstrated that she is a wonderful big sister.  She regularly brings her brothers the bears she made for them, blankets, and pacifiers without being asked by any of us to do so.  She also likes to make sure their equipment is turned on to full swinging motion, high vibration, and that all lights and music are started.  Ellie will warn us when one of her brothers is crying and she becomes concerned if she does not immediately see all three.  She regularly asks, “where’s the other one?”

*She developed a few new phrases:

—She refers to me as “MY mommy,” something she has never done before.  For example, she might say, “can I have more milk, my mommy?”  I think it is no coincidence that she developed this just as her brothers arrived.

—”That rhymes!”  Ellie’s Papa taught her rhyming words and so Ellie is now quick to identify when words rhyme and if you give her a word, 9 times out of 10, she’ll tell you what (legitimate word) rhymes with it.  I am impressed by how quickly she has learned this skill and how her rhyming words are sometimes more sophisticated than mine.  Recently, I asked her what rhymes with “ball” and I thought she might say “mall.”  Instead, she said “small.”

*Ellie enjoys her new Leap Frog computerized book.  She can play independently with it and it has been a lifesaver during some long baby feeding sessions.

*The last few months, Ellie discovered a few new favorite foods: grapes, raspberries, deviled eggs, and egg in a hole.

*Her sleep schedule continues to be 7:30pm-7:30am, with a nap from 1-3.  It is not uncommon for her to talk and sing through her entire nap, but that is just fine as it makes both she and I happy to have some downtime.

*Finally, Ellie has really enjoyed the extra time and attention she has gotten from her grandparents who have been taking turns being here this summer.  It has been a joy to watch her develop her relationship with them and to have a special thing she enjoys doing with each of them.  This extra time with her grandparents may be the biggest gift her brothers have given her so far.

Ellie eagerly anticipates going back to preschool next week and beginning a new fall routine.