It’s hard to believe you’ve been driving for a year now. You’ve done great and it’s been a lesson in trust and surrender for us. We still maintain thinking you were dead in the woods at South Mountain State Park was a legitimate worry. Driving has afforded you some nice independence while also been a big help when you drive your brothers. They also function as policemen willing to report any and every infraction they witness when you drive. We are still debating on whether driving while eating an ice cream cone is legal. The downsides to us of your driving are having less car time to talk and you being away from home more.
Last year, your only wish was for a puppy. Eventually you wore Mom down and we brought Knox home in April. You were right. He has been the perfect addition to the family (even Jack would now agree!) and brings you a lot of joy. You take good care of him and he’s always happy to see you. He just turned one and now you have a birthday buddy.
Travel this year included a family trip to the Grand Canyon and Zion, a mother/daughter college trip, NOLS, and several trips with Dad to look at colleges. You have aptly asked that spring break have NOTHING to do with colleges. Several of our trips involved major travel hassles, like sitting at the gate for hours and sleeping in the Denver airport. This served to steer some of your college preferences in unexpected ways as you consider travel logistics a factor.
Your three-week rock climbing and backpacking trip to Wyoming with NOLS was an amazing experience. It demonstrates your determination, adaptability, and sense of adventure to endure and enjoy such an experience. You seemed to take pride in being a superb cook for your group and you enjoyed creating dishes from your limited rations. Your trip inspired you to start an Outdoors Club at school. You have overcome a lot of administrative and weather-related headaches, and it seems fruitful already.
The college search process continues to evolve. You know what you want—and don’t want—and seem to have some great options. Mom and Dad have enjoyed researching and traveling (& discussing, & discussing, & discussing), perhaps far more than you have. You have nailed the SAT and created an impressive academic resume, so thankfully all you can do is TRUST the outcome to the LORD. He has a perfect plan for you and we know that wherever He leads you, He will go before you.
Despite being over half way through the notorious “Junior Year” you have had a great year. Compared to sophomore year, you seem more adjusted to the work load, have managed your time well, and are deciphering where to prioritize your focus and attention. AP Chem, Latin IV, and AP Calc seem to be your favorites and you manage to thrive with the level of rigor in these courses.
We have enjoyed the friendships you have cultivated and solidified this year. You have good friends and are a very good friend. You make them laugh and you are reliable and loyal. It’s been hard having Reese away but you’ve stayed in touch and visited a few times. We admire how you’re able to connect with each of your friends on an individual level and appreciate the uniqueness and strengths in each of them.
You have been gracious to go to youth group without complaint, despite doing so to help Dad and Noah get momentum going. You have a sacrificial kind of faith. God has developed in you a patient and kind heart that often puts others ahead of yourself. Though you have not had a significant testing of your faith, we hope and pray that you have a good foundation and will be prepared for life on your own in college where you will really have to take initiative to grow in faith.
We count it a tremendous privilege to be your parents, to cheer you on, to encourage you, to challenge you, and to learn from you. As always, we look forward to what this year will bring and to officially shepherd you into adulthood.
Though 2023 was good to our family, it carried a lot of hard for those dear to us, including the divorce of close friends, the death of a dear friend and church member (Amy), and multiple friends’ job losses and health struggles. In the end, it is a privilege to have our children bear witness to these concerns to grow in compassion and to strengthen their faith knowing that our only hope in struggle is found in Him.
Highlights from our year:
*Ellie’s 16th birthday trip with friends—hiking, shopping, eating, and party bus
*South Sea Dancers halftime show at Davidson—IYKYK
*Chinese spy balloon
*Spring break trip to Zion and Grand Canyon—Frontier travel woes, breaking even in poker, Zion waterfall hike, James saving Poppy, hiking to Cedar Point, and driving in snow from Grand Canyon
*Ellie winning SAR and DAR essay contests
*Nana visiting and enjoying good questions and lots of laughter
*Knox name bracket—final four: Foster, Farley, Rocky, and Knox
*Knox making us happy and keeping us entertained
*Ellie and Mom’s college trip—Dartmouth was nice
*NC State basketball camp—Thomas hitting buzzer beater
*Amelia trip—Jeep on the beach; Knox’s first beach trip
*Deerfoot—working on canoeing, hand crafting and other skills
*Puppy training class—Knox got pounced on by Pearl
*Ellie’s 3-week NOLS backpacking trip in Wyoming—slept in airport, multi-pitched two times, hiked on boulder fields, was team cook extraordinaire
*Nashville hot chicken sandwiches
*Jack—Cross Country champs!
*Playing football—James had two sacks against Latin; Thomas had two fumble recoveries in Christian game
*Field hockey made it to quarterfinals; Ellie scored goal in playoffs
Happy 14th Bday, T! We have been blessed by another great year with you. This has been your year of Independence. You want to differentiate yourself from your brothers, most notably James. Once he made the basketball team with you, you decided you wanted your own room. The only problem is that we don’t have a room to spare. So, you took it upon yourself to fashion the art closet into your room. Given that there is no ventilation in the room, we figured once January hit you’d go back to your old room. But, you persevered. Then, we were absolutely certain that once the summer heat kicked up you’d bail. Once again, you have remained solo. You have slept in a lot this summer, so apparently the darkness of the room has allowed you to overlook its steaminess. We know it’s hard being a triplet and sharing so much of your life together. Hopefully you don’t forget the benefits and the reality of how much people enjoy being around you.
Speaking of being around people, your friends are your world right now. Whether that is school friends, teammates, or neighborhood friends you like to maximize your opportunities to socialize. One day in the spring you convinced us to let you stay after school for basketball, to take you and your friends to Chipotle, and then to bring you back to school to watch a playoff baseball game. This summer, you bounce from house to house, to the pool, to Harris Teeter, to McDonalds, to Starbucks running and biking around with your friends. A few times it’s been dinner time and we realize we haven’t seen you since mid-morning.
Though you’re focused on your friends, you are still engaged with us at home, you like to linger longer at dinner and talk with Ellie, and you certainly want to make time to hang with Knox. You’re working hard to become his #1. Though you’re too cool to admit your affections for us, you can’t hide how much you adore him. Thanks for encouraging us to bring him home and for introducing his name to us for the 64-name bracket.
You’re quick to let us know your distaste for our rules, particularly around phones and sleepovers. Because these have direct ties to your social life we understand your frustration. Yet, you have been honest and also respectful. We know it is hard and we see God growing you in obedience.
Football, basketball, and track were your sports this year. You were one of the few 7th graders to get to start in football and coach would use you frequently on offense, defense and special teams. In fact, your scoop and score during the first game of the season helped to recalibrate the team after the frustrating Pop-Warner football league the year prior. In basketball, coach entrusted you with handling the ball in key situations. During the AAU tournament your game-winning three-pointer at the buzzer was a highlight for all. In Track, we enjoyed seeing you find your race in the 400m and meeting your goal of sub 60sec. You truly embody Dad’s concept of confident humility. You believe you can achieve great things in sports but you’re not one to draw attention to yourself. May you continue to enjoy big moments and find opportunities to bring glory to your teammates and ultimately to God.
Seventh grade was a sweet spot in school. You’re more seasoned than 6th grade and yet the demands of 8th grade are not yet there. You take school seriously and you benefitted from a less demanding academic year so you could focus on friends and sports. Eighth grade will require more of you academically and we pray for you to find balance, for the wisdom and skill to manage competing demands, and for you to continue striving for excellence in all things.
A very special 14th birthday to you! You have really Locked In this year. We see your determination in running, in school work, and in working hard to save money.
You have solidified running as your sport. With cross country in the fall, you slashed your time, gained strength, showed leadership on the team, and helped your team bring home the conference trophy. Along the way you do races (often with Dad) that test your limits on various distances and courses. You and Graham have become good friends that enjoy pushing each other. We greatly admire your perseverance in working on your 3200 PR and enduring a lot of hot races. It’s a joy to watch you. Dad was most proud of the race where you got tripped, picked yourself up and completed a sub-1:30 400m. This year you will be the leader of your team. We love seeing how you have already encouraged and inspired the other runners during summer workouts. Remember that with running and racing some of the best moments come from the races and workouts where you try your hardest even when the clock doesn’t show it. Don’t forget to have fun and enjoy the ride!
This year you have really taken ownership over your school success. You want to work hard and perform well to please yourself and not just us. We enjoy seeing your love of learning and the way you devour books. Eighth grade begins a five-year season of academic challenges. We know you will rise to the tasks before you, but also we pray for you to feel balanced and to keep your identity rooted in Christ. You have received good mentors in William from Deerfoot and Noah at Waypoint who are helping you to make your faith your own and to lean on God’s strength. May you know you are loved by God and by us not because of what you do but simply because of who you are.
Though we aren’t entirely sure what you plan to do with all your money, you are committed to earning and saving. You worked hard joining the soccer reffing league this spring and tried to get as many snack bar shifts as possible this summer. We appreciate how you’re learning the value of hard work and how wisely you steward your resources. Sometimes it’s hard for you to be generous or to feel comfortable spending money on something you want. We enjoy watching you grow in these ways.
Our travel to Zion and the Grand Canyon suits your interests and activity level well. Las Vegas, not so much. Like us, you enjoy finding hard trails and scenic views. Crampons and hail storms were new aspects of the adventure. You like to be our trail leader and you’re hard to tire out.
We are grateful that running with you gives each of us the opportunity to connect with you in meaningful ways. You are a thoughtful, intelligent, and interesting guy. You are a gift we cherish.
So glad to celebrate another year of you. The adjective that stands out about you is Maturity. Not only are you the biggest child in the family (will that always be so?!), but you have demonstrated maturity by keeping track of your belongings, getting your homework in on time, taking schoolwork seriously, and even by managing your money and getting a debit card. Relationally, you show maturity when you call us from school to let us know a change of plans and by being trustworthy as you are out with friends for many hours unsupervised.
You have a kind heart. Mom likes to retell how you saved Poppy from sliding off into the Grand Canyon while Dad’s favorite story to highlight is you giving the pregnant lady our umbrella when there was a pop up storm. You do these things on your own, which is a reflection of your compassionate heart. The only time your compassion is lacking is when you’re telling jokes, usually at mom’s expense. You make us laugh with your random quips.
You have enjoyed having Noah join Waypoint as our Youth Director and you seem engaged during Bible study. At Deerfoot, you spent time reading the bible on your own and have started to incorporate that at home as well. We admire your hunger for God and commitment to your faith.
Sports continue to be central to your life. Football has long been a favorite and Coach Nguyen honored you with an award for your character and sportsmanship even as a 7th grader. You don’t always play the positions with all the glory, but you make a big impact by blocking, setting a pick, and rebounding. These are critical positions to learn the power of humble leadership where you work hard for the team’s success. It was a privilege to make the 7th grade basketball team. Dad noted that you routinely tried to use each and every one of your five fouls in games. You play with passion and heart and it was great to end the season with the big Cannon W. You cultivated some new friendships with Jack G and others through your time on the team, and the NC State camp and pick up games this summer have grown them even more. We had thought you might do golf in the spring, but you decided to do track to be with your friends and under Coach Nguyen. Coach mentioned how impressed he was with how quickly you picked up the new form. We are proud of you (and your maturity!) for owning this decision, for trying field events for the first time, and for demonstrating how coachable you are by your significant improvement in shot put. You were also a good fan to your teammates as the meets dragged on for many hours. No conversation on sports would be complete without mentioning your ability to convince us to let you watch so many sports on TV, including every NBA playoff game well into the night. Thankfully, Dad finally found the sport you will not watch…WWE wrestling!
Traveling to Zion and the Grand Canyon were memorable this year…well except for the fact that you were sick in bed for much of Zion.
Knox joined our family and we can always count on you to cover the morning shift and to get him chasing you/finding you in the evenings. He’s a fun dog and we will have a good time as a family watching him grow.
This time next year you will be heading to high school. Enjoy this final year of middle school—play hard, work hard, and have fun.
Happy Sweet 16th to the sweetest girl! You truly are so precious, thoughtful, discerning, and level-headed. We consider it pure joy to be your parents and to shepherd you through this season of life.
At age 15 1/2, you finally had your long-awaited (13th!) birthday trip with Nana and The Dude. You thoroughly enjoyed touring France and spending time with them. You had quite a travel year when you factor in the sabbatical trip to Oregon and Washington as well.
In just a few days you will be a licensed driver. This past year of teaching you to drive feels like it has also been a chance for us to learn and grow. As you are growing in confidence and independence we are growing in trust and letting go. You are well suited to be a safe driver and we know you will enjoy the freedoms that come with it. Dad promises not to celebrate too loudly that you are taking over his role in the carpool rotation.
Tenth grade has lived up to the reputation of being much harder than freshman year. Most of that can be attributed to APUSH and its demands, but you’ve also devoted more time to field hockey and friends. You have excelled at hard classes, won awards for your writing, and continued to actively pursue math and science courses. You’re beginning to research colleges and you have an eye on an engineering track.
Though the field hockey season was challenging because of the commitment and drama associated with being double-rostered, you also got to be a part of a deep run in states and ultimately to share with your team the honor of being state runners-up. Now you will have a very different experience as you help lead your team through a rebuilding phase. Keep putting in the hard work off-season and have fun.
Your friend group has solidified and deepened. You have enjoyed the holiday-themed events, 16th birthday parties and trips, and school dances that never fail to produce lots of fun and laughter. For your birthday, you and Reese invited your closest friends to the mountains for a few days and enjoyed hiking, shopping, good food, and lots of games and laughter. They are a great group of girls and your thoughtfulness and even-keeled nature makes you a friend to treasure.
As you have grown this past year, your spiritual maturity has also been evident. Your participation in Young Life, your willingness to be a core part of the emerging Waypoint Youth Group, and your desire to have meaningful conversations with people shows a wisdom that far surpasses your contemporaries. Your humility in sharing with us your struggle with perfectionism revealed strong self-awareness and space for the Lord to speak His promises to you.
Last summer after spending more time away on excursions for camp than at the actual camp property, you decided to pursue a NOLS trip for this summer. We are excited for the adventure that awaits you backpacking and rock climbing in Wyoming this July.
Overall, you are in a remarkably good place. You’re figuring out small things like what fashion trends you prefer, how to tolerate annoying teenage brothers, and how to manage your time. But you’re very strong and confident in the big things: your identity in Christ, your confidence in yourself, your dedication to pursuing academic excellence, your sense of hope about the future, your strong relationship to us, and your ability to balance all the intensity with moments of fun. Praise be to God!
This is a new season. We pray that God keeps you safe, that you continue to balance work and play, that you still want to join us for dinner, and that you will see God’s faithfulness as you make decisions about your future.
Wes and boys (and Wilson and Henry) took Wintergreen Ski Trip
DC for Spring Break:: Night tour, running the mall, Holocaust Museum, Spy Museum, mom the Metro queen
Backstage passes to We The Kingdom
Ellie’s braces off
Cashiers with the Flynts
Nashville Hot Chicken Sandwiches (x10)
Dad-led rafting down Nantahala
Yellow Mountain hike with Dad
Camp Merrie-Woode:: mountaineering staff and three-day hike
Deerfoot
Montreal:: Mont Royal run, Quebec City shops and restaurants
Painted house and kids swapped rooms
“Bloody Fingers”
PNW Trip:: Crosswalk-abiding deer, Cannon Beach, Haystack Rock, Neahkahnie Mountain, Powell’s Books, Pastini, rafting, Hurricane Ridge, “view” from Mt. Hood, Thomas got kissed by a fish, James got pooped on by a bird, flat tire from Rainier, Space Needle (day and night view), boat tour of Seattle
Rob Krar running camp and running to the highest point of Arizona
Ellie’s birthday trip to France:: flying First Class, wine, Eiffel Tower, Mt. St. Michel
Cashiers with the Larsens
MexiCovid
XC Champs
FH state runner up
5-1-1 football record:: Thomas scored first TD of season; James won Christian character award
You seem to be coming into your own by finding the things you love and the people you enjoy. You are confidently embracing who you’re becoming and that’s awesome to see. You don’t seem easily rattled by drama that can happen in middle school. Even when friends change, you still found a way to gravitate toward those you respect and who share your love of being active outdoors.
Running is becoming central, which connects you in unique ways to both of us. Most people think of dad as the runner, but mom has the experience of school cross country and track. Between the two of us, you get way more advice and pressure to run than you probably need. You legitimately beat dad in a 5k trail race. That may have been your way of telling him to be quiet. What has been most impressive is your dedication to both cross country and track seasons even though 6th graders were allowed to run in only a couple meets. You have already won the hearts of your coaches and are a vital member of the team that you weren’t even officially on. You channel your drive and focus in the sport. We are excited for you to have the chance to be a true member of the team and to fully participate in meets.
Academically, you take school seriously (hello exam study guides!) and are thriving. Rather than being intimidated by the work load in sixth grade, you seemed to rise to the occasion and appreciate the challenge and increased expectations. It also helped that the hardest course is History and that is your favorite. It’s still hard to believe you memorized the entire Declaration of Independence. You have taken to reading books about WWII and US military. Greek Mythology was another course you enjoyed in school. You enjoy learning and discussing interesting facts.
2022 has been filled with lots of adventures that you’ve loved. You skied in WV, which has really stirred a desire for you to do real skiing out west. When we went to DC for spring break, it was a highlight of ours waking up and running the Mall with you as well as seeing the history come alive for you. Hiking and playing in Cashiers (including doing whatever it took to win the rainy fishing tournament) were fun. You loved returning to Deerfoot and locking in on the badges and awards. Your chiefs remarked on your strong leadership skills. Lastly, the epic PNW trip had you in your element hiking, exploring and being outdoors. No doubt you will one day summit Mt. Rainier.
Our prayer for you in these early teen years is that you will feel well-connected in relationships, have greater patience in challenges and lean on the Lord instead of your own strength, grow in grace toward yourself, enjoy lots of laughter, continue to be a thoughtful helper, and grow and develop as God sees fit.
We are so thankful for you.
Love,
Mom and Dad
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Dear Thomas,
You’re officially a teenager! You bring a lot of energy to our house. Friends and sports bring you endless joy. You’ll even ask us to stop the car so you can run after a friend and you sprint to the door any time the doorbell rings. Your hours spent at the pool have justified the pool membership for the entire family. Others (EXCEPT your brothers around whom you are endlessly competitive) enjoy being around you as much as you do them.
You’re easygoing in general. Whether it is being part of the kick team, or running a 5k, or going early for QB practice, or cleaning the mess off of the mirror you will do what is asked of you. You have a good heart and want to be a team player.
We have had a lot of fun as a family this year, especially with trips to DC and the Pacific Northwest. Though you “hate” hiking because it doesn’t have a “point” or something to win, you loved climbing on Mt. Rainier and getting to slide down in the snow. You ultimately found a way to make a game out of it. We also have fond memories of you and James playing in the cold Oregon ocean for hours.
You have rocked middle school so far. There was the making weight for football saga that involved a lot of Gatorade and lots of pit stops. Glad that is behind us. We admire your perseverance in your first tackle season and hope that you continue to enjoy growing as a player and being a part of a dynamic team. Track seemed to be enjoyable for you even though it didn’t involve a ball. Again, the social and team aspect seems to be the main draw for you.
We appreciate how seriously you have taken your academics. You take initiative, you stay on top of the work, and you find a way to get it done efficiently and well to free you up to do the things you love like sports and hanging with friends. We admire your ability to balance school, social, and sports so well.
This summer has not only involved traveling and enjoying Dad’s sabbatical, but also you returned to Deerfoot. Camp seems to be the perfect combination of an abundance of boys to socialize with combined with the challenges of the wilderness program. We love that you get this time to be away from the familiar and find a way to thrive.
We are an intense family. We expect a lot and you are largely compliant, respectful, and obedient. When we are tired (every day), we know we give off the vibe that your energy and spunk are exhausting. Yet, we know that God has a distinct plan for you in our family (and in your adult life to come) to lighten the mood, to keep us laughing, and to bring interesting people into our lives. Though we don’t often admit it, your energy and passion are a vital piece of our family puzzle.
We pray for you to continue to grow in your knowledge of and passion for Christ. And we frequently pray for God’s wisdom to raise you into the man He has designed you to be. You are so special to Him and to us.
With much love,
Mom and Dad
P.S. So thankful for Google so we could just copy this off the internet and add your name. ———————————————————————
James,
Happy 13th! You’ve officially done it; you’ve managed to grow taller and bigger than mom. Surely as a teenager that’s awesome to you, but as parents it’s a bit intimidating and hard to believe. You do sorta function like a man—eat like a man and talk like a man—but then your manners and free expression of bodily functions remind us you’re still a middle schooler. You speak before you think. This can get you in trouble when you say things to us you should probably walk back, but it also causes you to be ridiculously funny because of the things you come up with unfiltered. Even just your analysis of the crosswalk abiding deer as “a legend” is super funny. You’ve come to use humor to make sure we are paying attention to you.
Though you steal the attention with your jokes, you are very understated in your academics. You are super smart, but you mask it and make us think you don’t care about school. Your teachers see your hard work and quick learning and frequently report you are a joy to have in class. We are proud of how you adjusted to the challenges of middle school and got better at managing your stuff and your homework. We will never know if your leaving tuna in your locker over a long weekend was a prank or a true act of forgetfulness. But, the smell you left behind was legendary.
Similar to school, in sports you are humble and hard working. In football you don’t necessarily play the positions that get all the glory like QB or WR, but your coaches see how reliable and good you are at the line positions that are the backbone of the team. It says a lot that you continue to work hard and commit even when the team is developing and winning is hard to come by.
You are a very thoughtful and considerate friend. You choose friends not just because they are similar to you, but because of their character and heart. You can be silly and competitive with them, but you also genuinely care. You have found a good rhythm of when you want to be with friends and when you just want to chill and relax.
With that balance came your desire to attend youth group with your school friends. You sincerely wanted the faith part and not simply the social part and that says a lot about you. We love how you pay attention in church and how the sermons seem to click for you. Keep nurturing this part of your life and you will see awesome things bloom.
We cherish the memories of this past year—skiing in WV, spring break in DC, playtime in Cashiers, golfing with grandparents, Deerfoot, and the epic PNW trip. What a year!
As we look ahead to these teen years, we know you can feel so grown up and still like a kid at the same time. We are here for you to walk through these seasons. We have always known you have a tender heart and even as you grow up quickly, we know you care deeply for us just as we do for you. Our family is better because you’re in it. Through all the noise and clutter and stress of daily life we want you to hear two things clearly and ask that you would store these words in your heart for the moments when you doubt them – know this:
From Mom – “I love you and your precious heart. I admire the young man you are becoming.”
From Dad – “I am proud of you, not because of what you have done, but because of who you are. You are a great son.”
Happy 15th Birthday! Mom has her big shoes on today to ensure that you can’t claim to have surpassed her height…not just yet at least. Fifteen seems so old, and yet in our minds you have been fifteen for a few months. Maybe it’s because of all of the driver’s ed milestones that have been pointing us toward sixteen for several months. With whatever comes your way, you exude confidence in yourself while also being humble. There may be no better sign of maturity.
You suggested that we resurrect the mother-daughter ski trip that had been on a hiatus the past few years. Your increased ski ability and overall independence were further evidence of the maturing you have done over the past few years. We both think you are an awesome person to hang out with and love any 1:1 time we get with you.
What stands out to us is your steadiness. Not only is that an enviable trait by adult standards, it is also incredibly rare to describe a teenager as steady. Minus the occasional times when your brothers exasperate you or the even less frequent times when we butt heads, you keep your cool. You are not easily rattled by others and you have a general sense that things will work out for good. Having a mindset that is relatively free from stress and anxiety is a true gift from God. We have to remind ourselves of that when this plays out as you not having a sense of urgency. We can rush you instead of embracing the calmness with which you approach life.
We see your steadiness in school. You have eased into the high school course load, done very well academically, and are independent in managing your work. You thrive in the school environment and are eager to learn. You wanted to take two math classes (and forgo an elective) to maximize your opportunities for future math courses. Mom loves that you share in her work ethic but is envious of your math abilities and stress-free approach. Dad enjoys seeing a bit of himself in your shared aptitudes and care-free personalities.
Friendships are obviously a significant part of beginning high school. As you have in the past, you are often drawn to new students, such as Ella. You have also invested in friends you’ve known for awhile (e.g. Ella Kate, Hannah Kate, and Kate). You have learned well how to navigate the frustrations with social dynamics and address hurt feelings. Your steadiness plays out in you not getting sucked into drama and being a loyal and supportive friend. You have embraced the freedoms of high school and the increase in social opportunities that were previously hampered by the pandemic.
Spiritually, we see that you are building upon the strong roots of your faith. You are not necessarily bold in your faith, but you are unwavering. You’re not afraid to wrestle with hard concepts that ultimately strengthen your faith. You approached Dad about wanting to join Waypoint. That thrilled him. You told him how you used to feel obligated to go to church since it was his job, but after reading the Bible all the way through you have been able to hear God more clearly at church, Young Life and youth group. He loved how you led the prayer at the end of one of the sessions. Your spontaneous and deep prayer was inspiring to others and the feedback encouraged you that others see your tender heart for the Lord. Perhaps most meaningful was when Dad got to confirm you as a partner and pray over you. We pray that wherever you go you will find a church community that can draw you one step closer to Christ and that you will be a faith-filled leader who draws others to Him.
You live a full life. When not in school, you play field hockey, attend YoungLife and youth group, serve in the Children’s Ministry, and referee soccer games. It’s our greatest joy to get front row seats to all that God is doing in and through you. Though our pride for you is great, may you also know that we are a soft place to land whenever life comes at you hard. And that dad is always there to hug you – awkwardly – but to hug you anyway.
Why should you take an extra pair of socks when you go golfing? Because you might get a hole in one!
Happy 12th Birthday! It’s hard to believe this is your last year before you are a teenager. You successfully endured 5th grade under strict COVID protocols and now you are on to middle school.
There are many qualities we admire about you, including your ability to know what you want and to stand up for yourself. You are tender and ridiculously funny – you are very witty – which is a form of comedy that combines your humor and your intelligence. We also believe you have strong leadership abilities as you are determined, thoughtful, and inspiring to others. For example, you greatly encouraged a new player on the football team and helped to build his confidence. The middle school football coach has already observed your focus and aptitude that is pushing other players to improve.
In addition to football, you have been golfing with Mimi and Papa. You seem to appreciate this special time away and the chance to continue working on the challenging game that is golf. They have commented on this special time and spoking highly of your kindness.
One of the things that stand out to us is how much you tell it like it is. You say the truth in a way that others would not have the words or the boldness. We will admit we don’t always like to hear the truth as you tell it, but we know this strong sense of conviction will serve you well in life. Sometimes we see this in your bluntness: “You’re not putting the dog to sleep, you’re killing the dog.” At other times we see this in your strong will and your struggle to understand and submit to our authority: “Why do you always tell me to do things when I don’t want to do them?”
We see at times that you can be hard on yourself and get discouraged. It is at these times that we hope you will remember our strong love for and belief in you, and more importantly, the truths of how God loves you and sees many gifts in you. We also wonder if there are times where you feel overlooked. Because you and Thomas tend to have more similar interests compared to Jack and Ellie, you don’t always get the opportunity to shine on your own. Please know that we see you uniquely. We see your hard efforts in school, your amazing grades, your gifts on the football field, and your strong heart for God. You matter so much to us and our family would in no way be the same without you.
As you enter middle school, don’t be afraid to try new things. There will be countless opportunities to challenge yourself. We aren’t so worried about how well you do, but about your willingness to persevere and learn from the experiences you have. Also, make new friends. We pray for you to find the people that encourage you to be your best and that God will also put in your path people who need a friend like you.
We love you buddy!
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T-man,
You’re 12! It’s your last birthday before you hit the teen years. You survived this year where you felt we were “ruining your life” by putting you in the same class as your brothers because of the pandemic. It must have turned out okay because you were honored with awards for both your academic and athletic achievements. But, more importantly, you were recognized for your humility. You are gifted and you are confident, but you don’t have to show off. We greatly admire that about you. Your natural ability, coupled with your hard work will be a powerful combination in life – both on the field and in the classroom.
It was a joy to get to watch you play football again and you have already shown a lot of talent and commitment to the middle school team. The coach has specifically identified that you are one of the the hardest working players on the field. You couldn’t wait to get your helmet and will soon be getting the full pads.
You have endured a few big things, like Savannah passing and going off to a new, longer camp. You are learning how to recognize and process emotions, which is an important skill. We can always count on you to bring energy and enthusiasm to our lives. And, when in doubt (or when forced to go on another hike), bring a ball and throw in some friendly competition.
You love to be around people and are always eager to join friends in the neighborhood. One of the biggest challenges we have is getting you to eat because you are so quick out the door to see your friends that you often will skip a meal or rush to get through it. But people enjoy being around you because of the humility you display. You are inclusive and seek to bring more and more people into your friend group.
Our hope for you as you enter middle school is that you continue developing as a leader. People are drawn to you and respect you. May you have the confidence to lead them to what is right and godly. We pray that you are not swayed by what is cool and popular, but that you would be motivated to honor God and others above yourself. You will be able to influence others to set the tone for what kids should be doing. We hope that your eyes will be attuned to those around you who need a friend. We know that there are many challenges that await in these years, but we are here for you and know you will rise to the occasion.
With so much love,
Mom and Dad
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Dear Jack,
Happy, happy 12th birthday! Today we celebrate you. It’s hard to believe in one more year you’ll officially be a teenager. Congrats on wrapping up elementary school with wonderful grades, good friends, and a big savings account. It’s impressive how much money you have saved and how careful you are with your spending.
You have truly come into your own personality this year. You want to be set apart from your brothers. Even the fact that you have your own room is an example of how you like to do your own thing. Mountain biking, running, and reading are your main passions. Dad had to purchase a mountain bike because he could no longer keep up with you while running on the trails. You were also a huge help to him when he took that big spill, making sure he was able to walk out of the WWC safely.
We have to monitor your Kindle time or you’d read all day. You have shown great determination by practicing with the cross country team even though you may not be allowed to participate in meets. We can both appreciate the tired, but accomplished look on your face at the end of practice. You have already improved in a short time. May that be a good reminder as you face many new things in middle school…with practice and perseverance you make the progress you desire.
Even though COVID threatened to interrupt your fifth grade year, you were able to attend school for almost the entire year…that is until your nose surgery. However, your teacher said that because you had worked so diligently the entire school year you would not have to take one of your tests. That, too, shows how your diligence and perseverance paid off. We are proud of the resilience and courage you showed going through and unexpected and painful medical trial.
At times, this year has been a challenge as you seek your independence and experience times of great frustration toward us as parents. May you never question our love for and acceptance of you. Even when we clash, we know that you have a good heart and that God has a very good future for you.
What will middle school be like? We think the fun teachers and rotating classes will serve you well. We know the workload is high and we pray that you will have the focus and desire to work hard. We are praying for you to grow in friendships and that you will also have grace toward yourself, especially when things are hard.
We are so thankful to have a son as thoughtful, funny, and hard working as you.
Happy 14th Birthday! Last year, your birthday fell just before the world shifted drastically with the pandemic. And unfortunately, just as we thought things were clearing out, we are in quarantine over your birthday. We know the rescheduling of Nana and Dude’s trip, the loss of Carowinds, the shortened field hockey season, the uncertainty of being with friends and all of the other COVID craziness has been challenging, but you have shined through it all. We are incredibly proud of who you are and we genuinely enjoy your presence and spirit in our daily lives. To change things up this year, we are going to focus on your best qualities as we see them at this age.
Persevering— whether training for and hiking the AT, focusing on field hockey, or reading the entire Bible; when your mind is set on the task, you are determined to make it happen. Dad nicknamed you “No BS” on the trail, because you would not take any beauty stops, but pushed to the top of the mountain to some amazing views. We love how you are not swayed from things that are important to you. You live with intention, which makes it easy to trust your judgment and decisions.
Kind-hearted—we admire how deeply you care about your friends and family. This year, you have taken to cooking Friday night dinners when mom is at work, and you are readily available to help your friends with homework questions or offer an encouraging word. You do a lot of tasks that are not glorifying, but still you have empathy and a caring heart that focuses on what benefits others.
Resilient—it’s no secret that this has been a year of adapting to all the changes: there have been so many cancelations, change of plans, limitations, and disappointments ushered in by the pandemic. Yet, you maintain a positive attitude and don’t dwell in what could have been. Perhaps all these years of living with the daily chaos your brothers bring has prepared you well for bouncing back.
Mature—you’re independent, confident, and dependable. In some ways most of what we see in you could be summarized by maturity. But more precisely, you’ve become more efficient at homework and in your initiative to find jobs to earn money. We also lean on you around the house for completing chores, cooking, and managing all things tech-related. We know you will follow through and do things with excellence.
Emerging leader—you tend to be more reserved and allow others to take the lead, but also you have stepped up to lead at home and among your peers. Others look up to you and respect you. You have learned to supervise your brothers and provided us the ability to go on a date and feel like things are under control. We are especially proud of how you rose up to be the captain of the field hockey team and led and encouraged the new sixth grade players. The commitment you have made to the team means that the coach can depend on you and the other girls look up to you, which are true signs of a leader.
We honor you this day and are incredibly grateful for the young woman God has created you to be. We are blessed He has entrusted us with your care and we continue to pray for you as you determine God’s path for you in both big and small ways.
The Barry Patch 