Ellie is already a quarter of the year past her fourth birthday. I feel like we just had her birthday party. Buying a house and moving can make one lose her sense of time. Speaking of moving, Ellie did incredibly well with the changes. She enjoyed the process of helping me pack things and load the car. I think she took a lot of pride in being included and getting to have some alone time with me while setting up things in the new house. Because she was sick the day prior to the move, her moving day playdate was canceled. Since Nana also got sick, we had no alternative plan. That meant Ellie literally sat and watched the entire moving process at both houses. I felt terrible and wondered if it would be traumatic for her. Thankfully, I think it was actually a positive experience for her and helped her to understand everything rather than have her leave our old house with it as it was and her arrive later in the day at the new house with things all set up. It may have eliminated a lot of questions and confusion. She’s hasn’t looked back and loves her new room and the new space in general.
There are a few other tidbits to share about Ellie. She just ended her third year of preschool. Next year, she will attend preschool all five days in preparation for kindergarten the following year. Ellie has made a lot of progress with sight words and seems to add a new word to her reading vocabulary every few days. She gets very excited about it and it is not something we really push.
Ellie continues to evolve in her role as a big sister. Sometimes, she is shockingly helpful by initiating a craft or project, getting someone dressed, or entertaining them in a way only another child could. At other times, she tends to play the role of mom instead of sister and that tends to get us all in trouble. Ellie loves to be in charge and can lead Jack, James, and Thomas well some of the time.
Speaking of being in charge, most of the current challenges we face in parenting Ellie are related to authority and obedience. I witnessed Ellie say to Wes last weekend, “I don’t want to do what you want me to do, I want to do what I want to do.” Yes, this is what we’re dealing with! Another example of her determination and negotiability relates to chores. In particular, when Ellie turned four, we asked her to start making her bed before she could leave her room and join the family for breakfast. For many weeks, this was a battleground. She insisted she needed help or that she simply did not want to do it. We didn’t feel that she needed help nor were we really available to help her when trying to get her three brothers up. She would cry and scream and often nearly miss her opportunity for breakfast. It was very frustrating for all of us. We refused to back down. Finally, she came up with her own solution. One morning, I opened the door to her room and she was smiling, content, and sitting on top of her made bed. I praised her and thought a miracle had occurred. She quickly explained that right after I left her room the night before, she got up and made the bed, then slept on top of it. Problem solved; she makes her bed in time to get up, gets to be the first of the children up, and there is no more power struggle. She has done this for two months. I don’t know what to do about it. Furthermore, it poses an interesting laundry dilemma: do you wash sheets that nobody sleeps on?!?!?!
We scratch our heads a lot, we cry some, we get frustrated plenty, but also we laugh hard and play hard. Life with a four-year-old is never, ever dull!
The Barry Patch 