Thomas, James, & Jack at 5 1/2

One of the major highlights of this year has been the wonderful school experience the boys have had. Their very experienced, energetic, and creative teacher has given us one of our best-ever preschool years.

Their recent teacher conference may be the most indicative of who they are right now (as well as the caliber of teacher they have).

James, as we have seen every year, has a way of charming the teachers. She appreciates his sensitive and sweet side. He is very aware of others’ feelings and tries to keep the peace. The teacher also noted that James struggles to figure out what he wants to do, what his friends want to do, and what will get him in trouble. I appreciate that he is thoughtful in his decision-making even when he doesn’t make the “right” choice. As we see at home, James is not the best at following directions. He is not very motivated to clean up and put away toys. As the teacher stated, this is a maturity issue, not a defiance issue. What I was surprised to learn is how much James excels in math. He often gets a little out-shined by his brothers. The teacher noted a recent time where he figured out he could not only count by 2s and 10s to get to 20, but also by 5s and 4s. James was delighted to learn that she had told me that story and that she thinks he is kind. He has repeated both to me several times, saying, “Wasn’t that good?”

Jack excels in tactile, building projects. The downside to this is that he doesn’t like to share and he gets angry when anybody tries to interfere with his creations. We see this at home. I can empathize with him even if I do wish for the benefit of his social interactions that he was a little less rigid in this area. The teacher has observed that he knows his stuff, but he often rushes through because he’d rather play than do the “work” side of school. He sees no need to flaunt what he knows. She was most impressed by his ability to construct letters using the Geoboard and rubber bands in record time. He has the spatial skills to know how to switch from one letter to another without deconstructing the whole thing. For example, he started with “E,” and figured out to easily make “F,” “L,” and “U” by turning the board or removing only one band. He clearly doesn’t get this skill from me. He is a silly dude who is also very sweet.

Thomas she described as a model student. He learns things quickly and loves to learn. He will also help others as they learn. He loves to find a challenge and bring his friends along with him to solve it, like with puzzles. She was surprised by how much he gravitates toward art, as usually kids with concrete thinking (and strong sports/physical skills) don’t lean toward the arts. He sounds kind of annoying and obnoxious, doesn’t he? That’s what his sister would say!

All three were encouraged to work on upper body strength. As I know from meeting with some OTs, this leads to increased fine motor skills. Hopefully some wheelbarrow races, tree climbing, and baseball this spring will help.

My final thought is to share some favorite moments of the last few months. James has been so sweet and kind and he loves to give me hugs and request hugs. He has also taken an interest in Savannah and likes to make sure she’s fed and petted sufficiently. He has a growing tenderness and sensitivity that really makes me smile. He is also a great sports fan. It has been fun watching football with him and seeing how invested he is in his favored teams (Panthers and Broncos) winning.

Jack has matured in many ways. He’s made some rapid advances with his speech therapy and I can see the confidence it has given him. He also likes to be helpful and shows responsibility. He will usually do what I ask him to do and even comes up with ways to serve the family (like emptying lunchboxes) without being asked. I’m also encouraged that he’s been more expressive and affectionate and also more interested in interacting with his brothers. He still likes his time alone, but it doesn’t feel like he excludes himself in ways he might have before.

Thomas is an incredible ball of energy. He goes ALL day long and then crashes in an instant. His zest for life is most evident these days in his ball playing…usually football. He has quite an arm and will ask any willing person to play catch with him. He even found a girl on the playground who showed a slight interest in football and he patiently taught her the basics. Ask Thomas any of the scores from the Panthers’ games this season and chances are he knows it. Thomas can challenge me because I like things quiet and he is anything but that. He recently narrated an entire game of War while we played. He said ten words to my one. These aren’t bad traits to have, but I need to take mom breaks! Thomas has noticed James and Jack being more intentional about showing and wanting affection from me. So, he has created his own game of getting a hug from me. These boys can even turn hugging into a competition.

I truly love this stage with these three special boys!

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School report

Ellie received her second report card last week and continues to excel in school. It’s clear she’s learning and growing well, despite coming in at an advanced level. It’s reassuring that her teacher is attuned to her areas of growth and finding ways to challenge her. Ellie continues to enjoy school and has little complaints about it.

Jack, James, and Thomas just had their preschool conferences. Wes and I were relieved and pleasantly surprised in many ways. It’s easy for us to get caught up in the day to day details and miss the bigger picture of what they’re doing and how they’re behaving. We were quite happy to learn that the boys are all bright, kind, respectful, and a joy to have in class. They clearly have their teachers fooled! It was funny, however, that some of the teachers’ observations were the complete OPPOSITE of how they behave at home. Those of you who follow the blog closely or know our boys well, will find some of these comments funny, too:

The teacher finds James to be extremely kind; he routinely gives up his toy if someone else wants it and he looks out for others. He loves all the different activities and centers in the classroom and engages in a variety of activities. I assure you that the following quote from his teacher are words nobody else has used to describe him: “a wonderful, loving, and gentle soul.” I’ve thought a lot about James today and wondered why I have a more negative perception of him. I’m blessed by this feedback from the teacher, as I think it liberates me and challenges me to love him with more grace.

Most of what the teacher reported about Thomas is consistent with what happens at home. His enthusiasm and eagerness stand out. What was surprising was her report that he is quiet. Thomas literally never stops talking at home. The teacher described Thomas as sweet, bright, sociable with lots of children, able to play rough and tumble and also sit attentively when required, and a quick and enthusiastic learner.

We spent a larger chunk of our time discussing Jack. Jack’s just a bit quirky in ways both positive and a little less so. The teacher reported that he enjoys manipulatives, puzzles, trucks, cars, and science or math activities. He’s also very talkative and inquisitive, and she said he frequently asks “why?” Her opinion that he’s a little delayed socially and emotionally was helpful. He seems to be functioning in these areas a few months behind his peers (and his brothers, in particular), which is probably why he seems a bit challenging to figure out at times. The sense is that he’ll catch up and figure it out on his own by grade school, but that for now, we’re just going to see him as a bit different from his brothers in some aspects of his development. At the same time, he’s quite bright and does well cognitively, so our work in speech therapy and in social skills are going to be most valuable. The following statement from the teacher was most poignant to me: “Jack loves to play with the guys (meaning his brothers and several other boys) and tries hard to keep up.” This tugs at my heart because I sense in it that he must feel a little discouraged and frustrated by all he wants to do and just can’t right now. He’s particular and perfectionistic and, as his mom, I just want to make things easy for him and give him opportunities to feel successful. It’s all minor stuff, but I want to be cognizant of what we can do to help him so that he can fully participate when he wants to and not feel like an observer or outsider.

Overall, we are extremely grateful and pleased and we have a lot to cherish. We try hard to do the best we can as their parents and we don’t often get much feedback that our work is paying off. Though much of these positive stories and attributes are well beyond anything we can take credit for, it’s still validating and encouraging to have a teacher’s perspective.

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Kindergarten Progress

Ellie had her first round of parent-teacher conferences yesterday (more about that in a minute), and shortly after I arrived back home from that, she reported that her loose tooth fell out while she was brushing it. I’m glad that it was easy to retrieve and that it happened in a non-traumatic fashion. You can be certain, however, Wes has cracked many jokes justifying his own tooth brushing reluctance. Given that Ellie has been sick this week, the milestone seemed to bring her some needed joy and excitement. She placed the tooth–the bottom middle one–in her tooth pillow on her nightstand. She was excited that the tooth fairy left her a sparkly dollar bill and a silver dollar coin. The kindergarten class also celebrates each first tooth lost, so she was quite eager for that at school today.

As for the parent-teacher conferences, things were well as expected. The school does computerized assessments throughout the year and on the initial one, Ellie scored very high in both reading and math. One other girl in the class is about at her level and is a very sweet child. The mother and I have been talking and trading resources (we are both book nerds), so I am very grateful for this connection. The two girls are paired together often for reading and math and will continue to work with the teacher to be challenged.

We are still trying to determine our role in supporting her learning at home. We were given a few tasks. We need to focus on her writing skills, particularly since she gets very frustrated that she cannot write at the speed her mind thinks or with the accuracy she desires. Expect lots of cards in the mail, friends and family, as we work on this. The teacher also advised us to supplement more advanced concepts than they are working on in school. This comes fairly easily to me in the reading department as we have some good resources for choosing harder material and focusing on reading comprehension is interesting to both Ellie and me. Furthermore, reading together is already built into the routine of our day.

Math intimidates me some, because I’m not sure how to teach it. The teacher said we should be teaching her second grade math concepts, but then we didn’t have enough time to explore what those concepts and expectations truly are. We are grateful that if there is any “problem” to be had that this is the one we’ve been asked to take on. Ellie is self-motivated, so it feels fun and natural at this point to work together. I have some apprehension about making too much of her life about learning and not play. After eight hours of school each day, I don’t see the need to do much more, yet I don’t want to stagnate her growth. Her teacher is very experienced and I am confident we will all learn and adapt in time. Suddenly, our girl feels a lot more grown up than we thought!

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Back to Preschool

The boys are back in school. Win-win for all. They have Mrs. Lyman for the 3s class and they are attending Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. It was a very smooth transition as we all know this routine and are comfortable with it. I quickly forget how reassuring it is to have Wes in the building with them and being able to meet up as a group at pick up time. I’m not going to wish away these precious preschool years. All reports were that it was a great day. Jack got to be the blessing helper and selected “Roll Around.” James was the weather helper, but he didn’t seem to understand or care. Thomas was the caboose. I hope that was okay, because he has been telling me a lot at home, “I don’t want to be last.” I guess even triplets are well aware of birth order. When he’s the line leader, I expect an enthusiastic announcement.

Here’s a final photo…it takes a million of these to get one good one.

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A Week of Firsts

Ellie had her first soccer practice, first day of Kindergarten, and first ride on a school bus. What a week!

Today was Ellie’s first day, although it was a staggered entry, so only 1/4 of her class attended today. Ellie woke up to her alarm clock (the first time she’s even used an alarm) playing her old favorite song, “Jumpin’ Josie.” I appreciated that she chose a lively song. She noted several times how dark it was. Ellie chose to wear a familiar and comfy outfit as opposed to a new dress or new outfit that I strongly suggested. I appreciate her practicality even if it goes against my preferences. She moved a bit faster getting ready than I imagined, but once the novelty wears off, I’m not looking forward to the rushing and badgering I feel I’ll be compelled to do to get her out the door so early.

After barely eating breakfast, Wes and Ellie walked Savannah to the bus stop, just to watch the whole process. They came back to the house so we could take her to school ourselves for photo opps. On the drive over, Ellie asked a few questions (not related to school), which seemed to be her way of managing some nervous energy. We escorted Ellie to the Media Center where she met up with her friend, Ann Davis, and began playing. The drop off was free of tears or drama; we all felt at peace.

Wes came home early so we could both meet Ellie at the bus stop after school. Ellie had a big smile on her face as she walked off the bus. She was filled with enthusiasm and didn’t seem at all tired or overwhelmed. She was quick to inform me that I sent her too much lunch and that she was hungry for a snack! We were told that the teachers would be assessing the students and getting them acclimated to the school. From what Ellie recounted, it sounded like she read with the teachers, had to count to 100, had PE, went out for recess, learned a lot of new rules, had some required rest time, and had fun drawing and making a pretend school bus.

What a great start! Tomorrow she goes to school with her entire class. I suspect this might be more challenging and overwhelming than the first day.

And, from earlier in the week:

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The End of Her Preschool Years

I am fully anticipating an emotional entrance to Kindergarten in the fall, but I was surprised by how sad I felt today as Ellie completed her four years of preschool at our church. It’s not so much the milestone of moving on as it is the end of her daddy-daughter school connection. No more long drives into school together, no chance encounters on the playground, impromptu lunch dates, or the comfort of knowing they are a flight of stairs away from each other at any moment.

What really got me was witnessing Ellie’s teachers opening a note she had made for each of them. Entirely independently and unprompted, she wrote to Mrs. Deal, “I have loved you.” She drew two pictures of herself for Mrs. Boyce. Next to one she wrote, “baby” and next to the other, she wrote, “grown up.” At that moment I realized that Ellie grasped something I had yet to fully process: a lot of time has passed and she has changed profoundly. Please pass the tissues!

Enjoy this little note Ellie wrote describing what she will miss not sharing her school with Wes:

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Making Green Handprints

Jack, James, and Thomas came home from school with the following art work:

I laughed at Jack’s work, as it was a perfect demonstration of who he is. Despite being particular and orderly in nature, when it comes to an assigned task, he is very inattentive and uncooperative. I get the sense he was forced to get it done and was not interested in the project. I can hear the sound in my head of him trying to do the task while smearing it and not allowing a true print.

Thomas typically is rule abiding and I think he was probably precise in following the instructions and does not seem to take much creative license.

James approaches projects with all out involvement and I imagine if left free, he’d have continued doing this task all around the room.

I like that these examples show a departure from their general personalities, but are predictable of their approach to tasks. And, I love their cute little hands!

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Best compliment ever!

Upon hearing we would be having triplets, fear was the predominant emotion that presented. Many fears came and went, but the persistent one for me has been the impact this development would have on Ellie, both short- and long-term. I wondered how many dreams and expectations we had for Ellie would be unmet due to the demands and realities of a much larger family than we had anticipated. We certainly have dreams for Jack, James, and Thomas, too, but all of those were created with all four children in mind. Whenever I encounter struggles and issues with Ellie, I often wonder how much of it has to do with my parenting skills and decisions, how much with her being a sister to triplets, and how much is independent of any of it. My ability to overanalyze can often be a detriment.

Fast forward to today. Wes and I attended Ellie’s school conference. The primary purpose is to discuss kindergarten readiness. Not surprisingly, Ellie is definitely ready. I was very proud and impressed to hear that the teachers are so amazed by her advanced cognitive skills that they have gotten her her own set of books and keep them on a special shelf so she can read them. The highlight, however, was hearing the teacher’s feedback that Ellie loves her family, enjoys belonging to it, and that her family is the most special thing in her life. It seems like this would be true of many children, but the tone with which the teacher said it and the fact that she reported it at all, seemed to indicate it was unique and important. I cannot tell you what a relief it was to hear that the very thing that I feared would impact Ellie the most, has indeed impacted her, but for the better. I treasure this reassurance and the constant gift Ellie is to us.

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First Day Recap

A good time was had by all.

Ellie summarized so much, from the schedule, to how her lunch box worked, to what friends she played with, and how the room was designed. Se loved it all and I see in her a sociability that thrives well in the environment.

James dropped his bag at the door and ran right in. He was also the last to rush out to greet me at pick up. This is a huge accomplishment for the child who has been attached to my hip for months.

Jack was okay with the drop off, until he realized that to go in the room, he had to deposit his tote bag outside the room. Then, he lost it. This is just like his big sister and her first day a few years ago. They share a propensity toward having things in order. When Jack came out at pick up, he immediately made a gesture indicating he wanted to know where something was–either his tote bag or the stroller. He was content.

Thomas got upset at drop off, but the teacher assured me it was short-lived. At pick up, he rushed to me and seemed a little less excited about the whole day in comparison to James and Jack. Yet, he was cordial and waved to his teachers.

We are so lucky to have such capable hands to share in the care and nurture of our children.

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First Day of School

Today is the first day of preschool for Jack, James, and Thomas. It is also the first day of Ellie’s last year of preschool. No sadness for me, just eagerness for this new chapter of our lives. It will be a good change for all of us. The boys will attend Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday and have Mrs. Thrasher. Ellie will attend five days a week and have Mrs. Deal.

Here is the gang with their bags, which they didn’t want to put down:

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