Happy 17th birthday, boys!

Dear James,

Happy 17th Birthday! It is hard to believe that we are embarking upon your final two years at home. As we look back on everything you’ve navigated this past year, we are filled with such gratitude for the young man you are becoming.

We are consistently moved by your kindness. Whether it is your genuine, welcoming nature toward new friends like Elijah and Connor, or showing up to visit Coach BA at the hospital, or the way you quietly step up to help set up at church, your heart for others never goes unnoticed. Beyond just being kind, you possess a quiet confidence that allows you to reach out and authentically engage with everyone around you—from your peers to your coaches. You are a true friend, and that capacity to connect with others is a gift that will serve you well for the rest of your life. 

This year has been defined by your dedication. Whether you are pushing yourself on the football field or earning your spot on the varsity basketball team, we have loved watching the focus and heart you pour into everything you do. We see that same commitment when you ‘dial in’ academically, taking on the challenge of AP classes and showing the same grit in the classroom that you bring to your sports. 

Beyond your busy schedule, we have truly admired your self-awareness. You wisely decided to add a study hall to your schedule to build in margin for upper level classes and sports. Even though you have many demands on your time this summer–especially with multiple sports–your insight to attend camp again this summer (likely for the final time!) for some much-needed, stress-free time also demonstrated wise discernment. You know what you need and are learning to advocate for yourself. 

We know home hasn’t quite been the same with Ellie away, and we feel that absence too—we know how much you’ve missed her and the special bond you have. She probably would have agreed with you that staying up for every single NBA playoff game is a worthy cause. 

Even with all you have going on, it has also been exciting to see you lean into golf a little more. Thomas certainly had to give you some competition for the Father’s Day round at High Hampton. You have been trustworthy and responsible while enjoying the freedom that comes with your first year of driving. Hopefully sharing a car with Thomas has only slightly limited your independence! 

Above all, the growth we are most proud of is your faith. Seeing you genuinely engaged in youth group conversations and noticing that your Bible and prayer journal accompany you everywhere—even on a canoeing trip—has been such an encouragement to us. Dad has been especially praying 2 Chronicles 20:32 for you this past year, that you would be a young man who “walks in the ways of the Lord and does not stray.”

Just as we loved sharing adventures together this past year—from family trips like our spring break in the Dominican Republic to your college trip with Dad to New Orleans—we are so excited for the journeys ahead. Whether it’s tackling college tours together or discovering what the Lord has for you in this next season, we are blessed to walk alongside you.

You are hardworking, determined, thoughtful, funny, and deeply loved. As you step into this 18th year, know that we are praying for you in every aspect of your life.

Happy Birthday, son. We are so proud of you.

Love always,

Mom and Dad

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Dear Jack,

Happy 17th Birthday! It is hard to believe that you are halfway through high school. Reflecting on your experiences from the last year shows us what a wonderful young man you are becoming.

Your thoughtfulness is one of the qualities we admire most about you. Whether you are helping a friend work through a difficult homework assignment, making sure a teammate has a ride home, or offering your encouragement during a race, your heart for others is visible. We are especially touched by the subtle, intentional ways you look for opportunities to make things better for those around you—like your initiative in asking Dad to help chaperone the XC retreat so the whole team could have that experience. Your capacity for empathy is a gift that will serve you well in the years ahead.

This year has tested and highlighted your perseverance. Watching you handle the challenges of a cross-country season without the stability of a permanent coach showed us a level of grit and maturity that was impressive to witness, especially on those days when racing felt like an uphill battle. You continued to challenge yourself by going on the longest long runs you’ve ever done. We are praying for God to give you a more satisfying experience this year with a new coach and new eyes to view yourself and your abilities. We see that same disciplined focus in your academics; you take your schoolwork seriously and put in the deliberate effort required to pursue excellence. It is a joy to see you approach your studies with the same steady resolve you bring to running—and we’ve loved watching the friendly classroom competition that led to that “mysterious” chair and stool appearing in our garage!

Beyond the demands of your schedule, we have truly loved seeing you explore your creative side. You created some awesome artwork for class, and it has been a delight to see you turn to art this summer in your free time. You continue to be an avid reader, consistently tackling the stacks of books you bring home. As you look toward the future and consider your path—whether that leads to architecture or another field—we are praying for you as you seek clarity for this next season.

We have so many favorite memories from this past year, from our family trip to the Dominican Republic to the time you and Dad shared in St. Louis. Dad is especially grateful for you pacing him through his ultra race. He credits you being there and helping to manage his race for him by breaking the overall race into more manageable chunks. By running ten minutes and then walking, you helped him overcome an amazing feat. It was also bittersweet attending your final summer as a camper at Deerfoot. We have also enjoyed watching you embrace the independence of driving this year, especially seeing you appreciate the freedom to leave for school on your own schedule and meet up with friends after a run.

It has been a privilege to watch you pursue your spiritual growth, asking your own questions and working out what a life with Christ looks like for you personally. We were so proud you took a chance to serve your school as a chaplain. Continue to put yourself out there and pursue where God is calling you next.

You are thoughtful, persistent, creative, and deeply loved. As you step into this 18th year, know that we are praying for you in every aspect of your life.

We are honored to be your parents. Enjoy the year ahead. Junior year is not as bad as rumored and you will have some amazing teachers. Celebrate today!

Love,

Mom and Dad

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Dear Thomas,

Happy 17th Birthday! It is hard to believe you have reached the halftime mark of high school. As we look at the progress you’ve made so far, we are so incredibly impressed by the young man you are becoming—and we can’t wait to see you finish this second half just as strong as you’ve started.

We admire the way you play hard until the final whistle, no matter the opponent or the score. This past year especially, you’ve shown remarkable character. Even when facing the frustrations of tough losses or carrying the weight of teams that lacked depth, you never let yourself get demoralized. You are a competitor who stays locked in, and it’s been a privilege to watch you excel in your crucial roles—whether as the leading wide receiver, a strong presence on defense, and a key contributor on special teams for football (where you earned team MVP honors), or as the point guard on a JV basketball squad that saw a lot of wins despite a grueling conference schedule. The OT game at Carmel was one for the books! Your journey to the state meet in the 400m was just one more example of your grit and natural talent coming together.

We also respect the way you balance that intensity with your academics. Even with a demanding course load and a life largely centered on athletics, you remain a dedicated student. The way you diligently handled your homework and challenged yourself by taking the AP US History exam—even without being in the AP section—shows your genuine drive to pursue excellence.

Beyond the field and the classroom, you are a wonderful friend. We love seeing how you’re always up for a pickup game of basketball, football, or wiffleball; you love to be where the people are. Having the freedom to drive has only made it easier for you to enjoy those spontaneous gatherings. It’s also been a joy to watch you grow in your faith, from your commitment to youth group to the meaningful time spent reading the book of John with the father-son group.

We have so many great memories from this year, including our family trip to the Dominican Republic where we put the all-you-can-eat plan to the test. We also know you made some sacrifices this summer; your commitment to football and basketball obligations meant forgoing camp and other opportunities. That was a mature decision, and we admire your level of dedication. Our deepest prayer as you navigate this next season of life is that God reveals to you even deeper aspects of your identity—and helps you discover the many experiences college has to offer beyond the sports arena. Keep leaning into your faith and the disciplines you’ve started, as they will serve as your foundation for life.

You are talented, persistent, reliable, and deeply loved. We are so grateful to have a front-row seat to your journey, and we are rooting for you to have success and safety in everything you do this year. 

Happy Birthday, T!

Love you,

Mom and Dad

2025 Memories

Another great year!
Favorite memories:

*Duke Mayo Bowl

*Despicable Me Marathon

*Ellie’s omelets and avocado at 100K race

*Spring Break to CA: Alcatraz, biking Golden Gate Bridge, Pebble Beach, Redwoods, Pt. Lobos, Waymo, Big Sur, SLO BBQ, Bubblegum wall, Santa Barbara, Reagan Library and the Dead Sea Scrolls, Pt. Dume, Santa Monica, Lakers Game, Rodeo Drive, and Walk of Fame

*Dartmouth Dimensions

*PGA Championship

*Baccalaureate lunch

*Senior trip to Colorado and getting kicked in the head by a horse

*Graduation and Valedictorian speech

*Week of James: grilling out, epic game of Uno, no a/c

*Peru: basketball, bus broke down, bus speeding and getting pulled over

*Brazilian steakhouse for 16th birthday, especially the grilled pineapple

*Mumford & Sons (with Ellie) and The Lumineers (with Jack)

*Texas Roadkill—Bye, Ellie!

*Dropping Ellie off at Dartmouth and trip to Woodstock, VT; Sugar Bush Farm tour

*Dad scaring lady on elevator at his birthday dinner.

*Winning Subaru at 10K

*Clemson vs Duke football—big win!

*ACC Football Championship game—big win in OT!

*Hiking Chimney Top and breaking the bank at High Hampton

*Dad dinner, well maybe

*Beating SouthLake

*Thomas learning to whistle

*Charleston

*”Handy Kappa”

16×3

Dear Jack,

Happy 16th! We are excited to celebrate you and usher in a new season of driving and independence. 

You take things very seriously—you are cautious and locked in when driving. We appreciate that you are careful to not make mistakes. At the same time, know that in any aspect of life it’s okay to screw up. Come to us and talk it through and it will all be okay. You worked very hard in school, finishing up 9th grade with stellar grades. Sometimes it seems like you enjoy the challenge of taking hard classes and earning high grades. Other times, we worry that you put unnecessary pressure on yourself. We hope we have driven home the message that your worth and value to us is not tied up in what you do, but in WHO you are and WHOSE you are. 

Part of who you are is a kind and considerate person. You look out for others, like making sure people know details about school or meets and ensuring they have a ride. You also readily help with homework or details students missed in class. You thoughtfully took detailed notes for Hudson of what he missed while in South Africa. 

The cross country and track teams have modeled the kind of servant-leadership you embody. For example, the senior boys generously offered rides and words of encouragement. We can easily envision you sliding into leadership roles on these teams as well. You are a strong runner. It’s a mental sport and it’s intense. Keep believing in yourself. Though you may have had higher aspirations, you set PRs in every distance you raced. Breaking the 5-min barrier for the 1600 is memorable. We are excited to watch how you will grow through running, both as an athlete and a person. 

We appreciate your willingness to jump in, from wanting to continue your camp experience at Deerfoot to joining the Peru mission team. You reflected that Deerfoot has been a formative environment for you to find your strengths, develop your own passion for the Lord and rise to overcome challenging hikes. In Peru, you were in your element— working hard, playing with friends and serving others. Dad noticed that you would interact with everyone whether a student or adult, American or Peruvian. One of Dad’s prayers for you this year was that you would be transformed by Deerfoot and Peru experiences.

You continue to devour books and you enjoy listening to music and challenging others to chess or poker. We can tell you are a deep thinker who cares deeply about people. We pray that you would find joy in relationships. It may be hard to articulate what you are thinking or feeling, but through the process of figuring it out you are becoming a strong, capable leader. 

Though she often acts annoyed by your questions, it’s obvious how much you care for and admire Ellie. You are very much alike—your determination, intelligence, and scholastic aptitude. Yet, we are eager for you to chart your own path and live into the fullness of who God has made you to be. 

Tenth grade can be hard, as the novelty of high school has worn off, the classes are harder, and you’ve got a long way to go before the end. Perhaps starting the year as a new driver will add a bit of excitement to it. Keep leaning on God’s strength. In Him you will find peace, joy, and rest. 

Much love to you today and always,

Dad and Mom 

James,

Happy 16th birthday! It feels like we have been preparing for this moment since the minute you turned 15. Somehow you managed to survive mom’s annoying driving “coaching” and can now graduate to Thomas being your greatest driving critic. Freedom and independence await you. We are confident you will be wise in how you exercise them. 

As you are now the tallest in the Barry household, you get to reach the top shelf and bring down the air fryer for us. Not only have you grown in stature but also wisdom. Dad has been praying this year for the Lord to guard your heart – for everything you do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23). Your humor is a gift to draw people to you and your big heart is your asset.

You have a kind demeanor toward others; you are respectful and friendly to adults and you are a loyal friend who keeps your classmates laughing. You also assert yourself as an athlete and (sometimes appropriately) against our authority. It’s a gift to be able to present yourself as fitting to the occasion—competitive in the game and thoughtful at other moments.

Your transition to high school was very smooth. You excelled at a hard academic course load and you made a big impact on the football and basketball teams. Your football coach recognized your hard work on the scout team; it takes a special young man to be devoted to the game when the work is hard and it benefits your team with very little glory for yourself. Mom still can’t get over the basketball season ending with a near-brawl, but we are choosing to focus on the gifts of intensity and perseverance that you bring to the team. You have a lot of potential to continue making big impacts on your teams this year. 

In your faith life, you joined Waypoint and confirmed your commitment to Christ. You are committed to reading your Bible each morning and you continue to explore how to grow in faith. We have noticed how you challenge us to be less worried about things and to pray in mixed company. 

You enjoyed Deerfoot again this year and you attended without your brothers (not that you really care, but it was noteworthy to Mom and Dad). Because of basketball and football, we have not traveled much this summer, but we did enjoy a trip to California for spring break. Pebble Beach and the Lakers game were highlights.

We know the Lord surrounds you and goes before you always. We continue to pray for your safety and protection and for guidance and wisdom as you mature so quickly. Even though you will be on your own more, we are here for you on good days and bad days and we are privileged to be your parents. 

As you enter a season with profound freedom – the Lord has placed 2 Chronicles 20:26 as a verse to guide you —“He walked in the ways of his Father and did not stray from them. He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord.”

With love,

Mom and Dad

Happy 16th, T! What a special day for our special son. It’s hard to believe you will soon be driving, or at least sharing driving duties with James, much to your dismay. You all have had to share a lot of learning and driving together. That was stressful for us as parents, but seemingly also very nerve-racking to you as well. You are confident and careful behind the wheel. We pray for your continued safety and wise judgment. 

You are a very hard worker. Whether in school, on the field, or on the court, you are determined and you don’t give up even when things are challenging. We appreciate how you are quick to get your homework done, devoted to studying hard before tests, and a leader your teammates count on and admire. Your basketball coach gave you the Lions Award for your leadership and character. You have talent and a humble, coachable attitude. Well done. 

You are growing fast (finally making Mom the shortest one in the family). But, you are still developing in your confidence and reserved nature. We are proud of how you got out of your comfort zone with school dances and even organizing a sports camp alongside Hudson. Your greatest fear is Mom or Dad stopping to talk to someone and having an “awkward” conversation. You’ll often quickly shake your head in anticipation of an embarrassing situation, hoping to deter us. Your mom and dad are (mostly) seeking to be more sensitive to your plight.

This summer, you chose to go to Peru instead of camp. Dad was grateful to spend the week with you. He watched you deepen your friendship with Andrew, connect in meaningful ways to Jamal and build up Reed so that he could feel included. You worked hard and respected the mission laid upon the team.

We are proud of your decision to join Waypoint and read through the Bible in a year. You were faithful to read every night before bed. May you find ways to continue to cultivate the practice and grow in your faith. That decision—when your dad was fourteen—radically reshaped his life. Over time, the Lord used scripture as a way for him to grow from being worried and insecure into a confident young man. Dad prays that you will find that same God-given confidence in who and whose you are. You are loved by God and by us — not because of yours grades (though they are fantastic), not because of your natural athleticism (though that is impressive), and not due to your efforts or energy. Also be glad that you are not evaluated by your Techmo Bowl and RBI baseball skills. You are not judged by the Lord or your parents either, but simply loved because you are our wonderful son. It is a true privilege to be your parents.

Ellie is getting ready to leave. You claim it’s not a big deal. However, it’s going to be super awkward when you’re lingering at the dinner table all by yourself; we have enjoyed witnessing that special connection you both have (even if it’s simply a ploy to avoid chores). 

We can’t wait to see how you shine on the field, excel in the classroom, have fun with friends, drive safely, and pester James relentlessly. 

Love and hugs,

Mom and Dad

Welcome to adulthood, Ellie!

Happy birthday to our adult daughter! 18?! Really? Starting tomorrow you can pay rent, insurance, and taxes. Well, not just yet. But this will be your last birthday letter. It’s time for you to make your own traditions and for us to act like normal parents who just sign our names to a card carefully crafted by Hallmark.

You’ve probably heard these two stories the most about the day you were born: the fact that you were three days late and that dad kept trying to force your stuck-eye open. There are a couple of truths from that day that have carried you through to adulthood: you are determined to do things at your own pace and in your own way. And, things go just fine when we get out of the way. Thankfully, you have channeled your perseverance and independence into some very wise choices.

This is a big year as you wrap up high school and head off to college. We have complete trust that you are ready and well-prepared. Senior year is a great time to reflect on who you are becoming and it’s given you ample opportunities to try on a variety of leadership roles.

You were one of the captains for your field hockey team and this season was the most fun you’ve had, largely because of the relationships you cultivated and your leadership role. You’re playing rec league this spring and building your own routines for fitness and wellness.

With Common Grounds, the Outdoors Club, and your senior project, you always seem to be organizing, spreadsheet-ing, and planning something. You’ve enjoyed senior year for all of its responsibilities and fun milestones. We have savored having all four of you in HS together and hearing stories about where your lives intersect.

Your friends are important to you and we admire how you treat others with kindness and empathy. You are attuned to the social dynamics and hardships others face, while mostly avoiding drama. While there are lots of personalities among your friends, you impress us with your ability to see the worth and value in each person and love them for who they are. You show a lot of mercy toward others, don’t take things personally, and get over things quickly. This will serve you well in life.

Those who don’t know you well, would probably most identify you by your academic successes. Though these achievements mean nothing without your strength of character, we recognize your hard work and you fulfilling your college dreams. Governor’s School last summer proved you are ready to live independently and to embrace the academic and social experiences of college life.

We have often mentioned your steadiness and grounded-ness. These, in addition to your faith, are the pillars upon which you build your life as an adult. We know that it will be a very big change for you to go from a Christian home and Christian school to an entirely different school environment. Not only that, but also you will find a church and faith community for the first time that is not in some way associated with dad and his ministry. This will require a commitment to nurturing your own faith while allowing His light to shine through you.

You have been a great big sister. From answering Jack’s endless questions to laughing at James’ bad jokes and lingering at the dinner table with Thomas (to evade your chores), you play a central role in our family. We are so thankful to have been tasked with the role of parenting you for the last eighteen years. We are very relieved you’re leaving us so we can focus on your brothers who keep our hands SO full. 🙂 Your parents we will always be, but we embrace the ways our relationship with you will continue to evolve. God has begun a a very good work in you and He is faithful to complete it. We will be cheering from the sidelines!

With much love,

Mom and Dad

2024 Memories

• January hurricane and backyard waterfall
• Mom messed up scoreboard at Holy Trinity game (but also drew a technical foul)
• Winter visit to Dartmouth:: hockey game and King Arthur Flour
• Wes, Ellie and Lindsay’s spring break trip to High Meadows and Virginia Creeper Trail:: ponies at Grayson Highlands, Jeep trails, Knox singed his hair with the heater, Knox escaping through barbed wire fence, cookout, waterfall AT hike, Knox’s hiking booties, Ellie’s Phase 10 victory, Hellbender’s Cafe FAIL, Hungry Mother’s Zipline FAIL
• Jack, James, and Thomas’ grandparent spring break trip to Hawaii:: snorkeling, volcano, hiking, and kayaking 
• Ellie stuffed Dad’s Jeep full of balloons for April Fool’s Day
• Jack’s orthodontic rubber bands flying and hitting the chef at Brooklyn Pizza
• Dad driving the Jeep home from Forest Hills track meet with no roof and a torrential downpour 
• Track co-champs:: Jack set PR in 3200 and 800, tied PR in 1600; James scored in shot, discus, and triple jump; Thomas rocked FIVE events 
• Mother’s Day at Wells Fargo Tournament with James and Wes
• Solar eclipse
• Little Sandy and Jack’s hole-in-one
• Ellie’s Governor’s School experience:: card counting and roommate leaving
• Deerfoot
• Shenandoah Valley trip: sunset and climbing Mary’s Rock
• Having three “winning” lottery tickets on JJT’s bday
• Ellie and Wes rescuing a baby squirrel from under mom’s car
• Ellie’s last varsity field hockey season
• Jack, James, and Thomas’ first varsity sports seasons 
• Wes’ 45th birthday 
• Field hockey senior night
• Great first Varsity football season for James and Thomas; James winning award from coach. 
• Panthers’ Game with Mr. Hollowell 
• Ellie’s Dartmouth acceptance—Go Big Green!
• Spider + Knox = FUN

James, Thomas, and Jack are 15!

Dear James,

Happy 15th Birthday! We can’t believe this is the year you start high school and learn to drive. You are totally ready, but we might not be. 

It has been a joy for us to watch the young man God has made you to be. You are a well-mannered and kind person who knows how to ask thoughtful questions of us and other adults. You recently went up to Coach Cunningham to chat and that showed your maturity and confidence to relate to adults and your genuine care for others. 

We have also noticed how you have kind friends. You chose to attend the DC trip to wisely get more time with friends without your brothers around. You have bonded with Jack G. and others from the basketball team in particular. 

No doubt all of your kindness to others is a result of your tender heart for God. You seem eager to learn more of the Bible, to invest in the youth group, and to seek harder after Him. At the Chattanooga mission trip, you went all in and were willing to share with your group the impact the experience had on you. You are bold and courageous!

Though you have matured in important ways, your jokes still have a long way to go. They might be slightly more tactful and appropriate than in years past, but not by much. You do have an amazing ability to infuse humor into the most unlikely of situations and the shock value adds to the humor.

You make school look easy sometimes. You are like your dad. You take to things easily and don’t waste your time on assignments that don’t justify the time and effort. High school is obviously harder but we know you will do well as you tackle the honors courses you have chosen. 

Your 8th grade year is probably most memorable because of sports. It’s a privilege to be one of the oldest and tallest guys on the team. You were an instrumental leader on the football team and as a lineman you work as hard as anyone without any glory. Even when the Country Day game was essentially over, you ran to the line of scrimmage every play encouraging your teammates to play to the final whistle. There were games where you played every down and never gave up your intensity no matter how hot, tired, and sore you were. You take losing hard, but you are able to move on the next day seeing the loss as an opportunity to improve. In turn, you inspire others to work hard and step up. 

You were a key starter for school basketball and convinced us to have you join an AAU team. You conditioned hard, grew in your skills as a player, and the coach entrusted you to lead the team. Even though track is your least favorite sport, you support your brothers and teammates and you impressed us and your coaches by making big improvements with your throws without a lot of opportunity to practice. At Deerfoot, you achieved the 3000×12 challenge. That’s an insane amount of push-ups to crank out not to mention the Bible passages to memorize. 

We know the sports seasons had major ups and downs. At times, it can be frustrating and demoralizing. But, we admire your ability to recover quickly and to not get down for too long. You have determination and perseverance to work hard–sometimes at multiple sports at the same time. Your coaches routinely recognize your talent, leadership and character. We know what you have accomplished and learned on the field and the court have prepared you well for the next phase of high school and life beyond. 

Always thankful for your love, humor, strength of character and resilience.

Much love,

Mom and Dad

Dear Thomas,

Happy 15th! Driving and high school all this month?! Wow!

This has been a great year for you and you have enjoyed being top dog. You have also thoroughly enjoyed our own dog! Most of what stands out are sports highlights. You almost got 1000 total yards on offense during the football season. You evaded a lot of tackles and gained crucial yardage and TDs when your team needed it. You also recovered two fumbles for touchdowns in the same game. Your coaches awarded you for your efforts and your teammates greatly admired you. You had to grind it out in basketball and it was a tough season. You never give up and always give your best effort. Track was a bit of a breakout season. You qualified for Nationals in both the 400 and 800, despite only running the 800 a couple of times. Coach Nguyen recognized you for not only your raw talent, but your ability to jump into any race he needed you for and make an impact. Though you are a great team player, it seems track gives you the opportunity to be on a relay team but also to work on individual events and PRs, like the 400 and triple jump. 

Last summer we thought you would sweat out of your closet room, but you showed us you really wanted space to differentiate more from James. So, your big Christmas gift was getting an air vent and paint to make it your own space. This has been a symbolic shift as we have watched you mature into your own young man. 

We love the way you show up as a person in our family—getting quickly to work on homework or chores, lingering at the dinner table with Ellie, or retelling a Dexter joke. We also don’t take for granted that you are respectful even when your parents make rules and decisions you don’t agree with. You’re a tolerant person, managing well annoying brothers, frustrating technology, and moments of boredom. 

Your youth leaders—Noah and Becca—have commented on your willingness to speak up. They mentioned that the Chattanooga mission trip was a great chance to get to know you more and see God’s work in your heart. 

We really admire your initiative to recently start on a Bible reading plan. We hope this is a commitment you can stick to as the fall kicks up and that you will be blessed by your endeavors. 

You face a lot of transitions as several of your close friends left for other schools and you anticipate the different demands of high school classes and sports. You have always been a gifted and adaptable kid and so we continue to pray this next chapter of your life is smooth and that you will always know He goes before you.

Love always,

Dad and Mom 

Dear Jack,

Happy 15th birthday! Since you were a young boy you gravitated toward toy cars, tricycles, buggies, biking, and driving the golf cart whenever you’re given the chance. So, it feels like you were born to drive. We are hoping it will be simple for you and you’ll give us a break while attending to your brothers. 

You seem to have really hit your stride this year. Quite literally, you are accomplishing a lot as a runner. Getting a 5:00 mile is a very impressive feat. But you have also grown more confident in yourself, grown in friendships, and honed your leadership skills. More than any of the times, places, or PRs you accomplished in XC and track, we are most proud of how you led your team. Some of the young runners really struggled with the heat and mileage in XC. You were there to cheer them on and push them harder. 

When Coach P had his stroke we noticed your compassionate concern for him and your dedication to carry on his hard work for your team. You were invited to participate in the ribbon cutting for the new track as a leader of the MS teams. 

Coach Nguyen recognized you for your leadership and reliability in track, knowing he could count on you to ensure your teammates were warmed up, checked in, encouraged, challenged, and cheered on. Many of your teammates came to admire and respect you. Ever the competitor you also convinced Hudson to race at the conference meet despite being very sick because you knew the team would not win without him. I guess your intense methods worked as you guys ended up being co-champions (with a school we won’t name). 

Now you’re positioned well for high school running. The increase to the 5K distance favors your endurance. Your hard work and dedication have already proven to be valuable and you enjoy the camaraderie of your teammates. 

You are also a hard working and dedicated student. You won the President’s Award because of your academic achievement. It’s a big honor to be acknowledging by your teachers for your efforts and aptitude. When you’re not running or studying, you can most definitely be found with a book in your hands. 

You worked hard on the Chattanooga mission trip and Noah commented that you have Dad’s prankster humor…so sorry about that. You certainly enjoy spicing things up. You have been very committed to reading the Bible with Hudson. We continue to pray for what the Lord is stirring in your heart and we are thankful for those who encourage your faith. 

We are eager to see what God has in store for you this next year. Keep on working hard, running your best, pursuing the Lord, devouring books, deepening your friendships, and eating salami or cheese every five minutes.

With much love,

The people whom some call Mother and Father 

Ellie is 17!

Happy 17th Birthday, Ellie!

It’s hard to believe you’ve been driving for a year now. You’ve done great and it’s been a lesson in trust and surrender for us. We still maintain thinking you were dead in the woods at South Mountain State Park was a legitimate worry. Driving has afforded you some nice independence while also been a big help when you drive your brothers. They also function as policemen willing to report any and every infraction they witness when you drive. We are still debating on whether driving while eating an ice cream cone is legal. The downsides to us of your driving are having less car time to talk and you being away from home more. 

Last year, your only wish was for a puppy. Eventually you wore Mom down and we brought Knox home in April. You were right. He has been the perfect addition to the family (even Jack would now agree!) and brings you a lot of joy. You take good care of him and he’s always happy to see you. He just turned one and now you have a birthday buddy. 

Travel this year included a family trip to the Grand Canyon and Zion, a mother/daughter college trip, NOLS, and several trips with Dad to look at colleges. You have aptly asked that spring break have NOTHING to do with colleges. Several of our trips involved major travel hassles, like sitting at the gate for hours and sleeping in the Denver airport. This served to steer some of your college preferences in unexpected ways as you consider travel logistics a factor. 

Your three-week rock climbing and backpacking trip to Wyoming with NOLS was an amazing experience. It demonstrates your determination, adaptability, and sense of adventure to endure and enjoy such an experience. You seemed to take pride in being a superb cook for your group and you enjoyed creating dishes from your limited rations. Your trip inspired you to start an Outdoors Club at school. You have overcome a lot of administrative and weather-related headaches, and it seems fruitful already. 

The college search process continues to evolve. You know what you want—and don’t want—and seem to have some great options. Mom and Dad have enjoyed researching and traveling (& discussing, & discussing, & discussing), perhaps far more than you have. You have nailed the SAT and created an impressive academic resume, so thankfully all you can do is TRUST the outcome to the LORD. He has a perfect plan for you and we know that wherever He leads you, He will go before you.

Despite being over half way through the notorious “Junior Year” you have had a great year. Compared to sophomore year, you seem more adjusted to the work load, have managed your time well, and are deciphering where to prioritize your focus and attention. AP Chem, Latin IV, and AP Calc seem to be your favorites and you manage to thrive with the level of rigor in these courses. 

We have enjoyed the friendships you have cultivated and solidified this year. You have good friends and are a very good friend. You make them laugh and you are reliable and loyal. It’s been hard having Reese away but you’ve stayed in touch and visited a few times. We admire how you’re able to connect with each of your friends on an individual level and appreciate the uniqueness and strengths in each of them. 

You have been gracious to go to youth group without complaint, despite doing so to help Dad and Noah get momentum going. You have a sacrificial kind of faith. God has developed in you a patient and kind heart that often puts others ahead of yourself. Though you have not had a significant testing of your faith, we hope and pray that you have a good foundation and will be prepared for life on your own in college where you will really have to take initiative to grow in faith. 

We count it a tremendous privilege to be your parents, to cheer you on, to encourage you, to challenge you, and to learn from you. As always, we look forward to what this year will bring and to officially shepherd you into adulthood. 

With much love,

Mom and Dad 

P.S. Don’t spoil Suits

2023 Memory Jar

Though 2023 was good to our family, it carried a lot of hard for those dear to us, including the divorce of close friends, the death of a dear friend and church member (Amy), and multiple friends’ job losses and health struggles. In the end, it is a privilege to have our children bear witness to these concerns to grow in compassion and to strengthen their faith knowing that our only hope in struggle is found in Him.

Highlights from our year:

*Ellie’s 16th birthday trip with friends—hiking, shopping, eating, and party bus

*South Sea Dancers halftime show at Davidson—IYKYK

*Chinese spy balloon

*Spring break trip to Zion and Grand Canyon—Frontier travel woes, breaking even in poker, Zion waterfall hike, James saving Poppy, hiking to Cedar Point, and driving in snow from Grand Canyon

*Ellie winning SAR and DAR essay contests

*Nana visiting and enjoying good questions and lots of laughter

*Knox name bracket—final four: Foster, Farley, Rocky, and Knox

*Knox making us happy and keeping us entertained

*Ellie and Mom’s college trip—Dartmouth was nice

*NC State basketball camp—Thomas hitting buzzer beater

*Amelia trip—Jeep on the beach; Knox’s first beach trip

*Deerfoot—working on canoeing, hand crafting and other skills

*Puppy training class—Knox got pounced on by Pearl

*Ellie’s 3-week NOLS backpacking trip in Wyoming—slept in airport, multi-pitched two times, hiked on boulder fields, was team cook extraordinaire

*Nashville hot chicken sandwiches

*Jack—Cross Country champs!

*Playing football—James had two sacks against Latin; Thomas had two fumble recoveries in Christian game

*Field hockey made it to quarterfinals; Ellie scored goal in playoffs

*Reffing soccer games

*Visited Duke

*Don and Debbie visited

*Built 3K course with Hudson

*Laugh Again and colostomy bag

*Ellie and Wes visited Vanderbilt

*Knox stung by bees

*Dad drank bee in cider

*Building mountain biking trails in the woods

*Mom spoiling Upwords

*Knox’s first trail run

*Flu-mas

Happy 14th to Thomas, Jack, and James

Happy 14th Bday, T! We have been blessed by another great year with you. This has been your year of Independence. You want to differentiate yourself from your brothers, most notably James. Once he made the basketball team with you, you decided you wanted your own room. The only problem is that we don’t have a room to spare. So, you took it upon yourself to fashion the art closet into your room. Given that there is no ventilation in the room, we figured once January hit you’d go back to your old room. But, you persevered. Then, we were absolutely certain that once the summer heat kicked up you’d bail. Once again, you have remained solo. You have slept in a lot this summer, so apparently the darkness of the room has allowed you to overlook its steaminess. We know it’s hard being a triplet and sharing so much of your life together. Hopefully you don’t forget the benefits and the reality of how much people enjoy being around you. 

Speaking of being around people, your friends are your world right now. Whether that is school friends, teammates, or neighborhood friends you like to maximize your opportunities to socialize. One day in the spring you convinced us to let you stay after school for basketball, to take you and your friends to Chipotle, and then to bring you back to school to watch a playoff baseball game. This summer, you bounce from house to house, to the pool, to Harris Teeter, to McDonalds, to Starbucks running and biking around with your friends. A few times it’s been dinner time and we realize we haven’t seen you since mid-morning. 

Though you’re focused on your friends, you are still engaged with us at home, you like to linger longer at dinner and talk with Ellie, and you certainly want to make time to hang with Knox. You’re working hard to become his #1. Though you’re too cool to admit your affections for us, you can’t hide how much you adore him. Thanks for encouraging us to bring him home and for introducing his name to us for the 64-name bracket. 

You’re quick to let us know your distaste for our rules, particularly around phones and sleepovers. Because these have direct ties to your social life we understand your frustration. Yet, you have been honest and also respectful. We know it is hard and we see God growing you in obedience. 

Football, basketball, and track were your sports this year. You were one of the few 7th graders to get to start in football and coach would use you frequently on offense, defense and special teams. In fact, your scoop and score during the first game of the season helped to recalibrate the team after the frustrating Pop-Warner football league the year prior. In basketball, coach entrusted you with handling the ball in key situations. During the AAU tournament your game-winning three-pointer at the buzzer was a highlight for all. In Track, we enjoyed seeing you find your race in the 400m and meeting your goal of sub 60sec. You truly embody Dad’s concept of confident humility. You believe you can achieve great things in sports but you’re not one to draw attention to yourself. May you continue to enjoy big moments and find opportunities to bring glory to your teammates and ultimately to God. 

Seventh grade was a sweet spot in school. You’re more seasoned than 6th grade and yet the demands of 8th grade are not yet there. You take school seriously and you benefitted from a less demanding academic year so you could focus on friends and sports. Eighth grade will require more of you academically and we pray for you to find balance, for the wisdom and skill to manage competing demands, and for you to continue striving for excellence in all things. 

Love,

Mom and Dad 

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Jack,

A very special 14th birthday to you! You have really Locked In this year. We see your determination in running, in school work, and in working hard to save money. 

You have solidified running as your sport. With cross country in the fall, you slashed your time, gained strength, showed leadership on the team, and helped your team bring home the conference trophy. Along the way you do races (often with Dad) that test your limits on various distances and courses. You and Graham have become good friends that enjoy pushing each other. We greatly admire your perseverance in working on your 3200 PR and enduring a lot of hot races. It’s a joy to watch you. Dad was most proud of the race where you got tripped, picked yourself up and completed a sub-1:30 400m. This year you will be the leader of your team. We love seeing how you have already encouraged and inspired the other runners during summer workouts. Remember that with running and racing some of the best moments come from the races and workouts where you try your hardest even when the clock doesn’t show it. Don’t forget to have fun and enjoy the ride!

This year you have really taken ownership over your school success. You want to work hard and perform well to please yourself and not just us. We enjoy seeing your love of learning and the way you devour books. Eighth grade begins a five-year season of academic challenges. We know you will rise to the tasks before you, but also we pray for you to feel balanced and to keep your identity rooted in Christ. You have received good mentors in William from Deerfoot and Noah at Waypoint who are helping you to make your faith your own and to lean on God’s strength. May you know you are loved by God and by us not because of what you do but simply because of who you are.  

Though we aren’t entirely sure what you plan to do with all your money, you are committed to earning and saving. You worked hard joining the soccer reffing league this spring and tried to get as many snack bar shifts as possible this summer. We appreciate how you’re learning the value of hard work and how wisely you steward your resources. Sometimes it’s hard for you to be generous or to feel comfortable spending money on something you want. We enjoy watching you grow in these ways. 

Our travel to Zion and the Grand Canyon suits your interests and activity level well. Las Vegas, not so much. Like us, you enjoy finding hard trails and scenic views. Crampons and hail storms were new aspects of the adventure. You like to be our trail leader and you’re hard to tire out. 

We are grateful that running with you gives each of us the opportunity to connect with you in  meaningful ways. You are a thoughtful, intelligent, and interesting guy. You are a gift we cherish. 

Love,

Mom and Dad

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Dear James,

Happy 14th! 

So glad to celebrate another year of you. The adjective that stands out about you is Maturity. Not only are you the biggest child in the family (will that always be so?!), but you have demonstrated maturity by keeping track of your belongings, getting your homework in on time, taking schoolwork seriously, and even by managing your money and getting a debit card. Relationally, you show maturity when you call us from school to let us know a change of plans and by being trustworthy as you are out with friends for many hours unsupervised. 

You have a kind heart. Mom likes to retell how you saved Poppy from sliding off into the Grand Canyon while Dad’s favorite story to highlight is you giving the pregnant lady our umbrella when there was a pop up storm. You do these things on your own, which is a reflection of your compassionate heart. The only time your compassion is lacking is when you’re telling jokes, usually at mom’s expense. You make us laugh with your random quips.

You have enjoyed having Noah join Waypoint as our Youth Director and you seem engaged during Bible study. At Deerfoot, you spent time reading the bible on your own and have started to incorporate that at home as well. We admire your hunger for God and commitment to your faith.

Sports continue to be central to your life. Football has long been a favorite and Coach Nguyen honored you with an award for your character and sportsmanship even as a 7th grader. You don’t always play the positions with all the glory, but you make a big impact by blocking, setting a pick, and rebounding. These are critical positions to learn the power of humble leadership where you work hard for the team’s success. It was a privilege to make the 7th grade basketball team. Dad noted that you routinely tried to use each and every one of your five fouls in games. You play with passion and heart and it was great to end the season with the big Cannon W. You cultivated some new friendships with Jack G and others through your time on the team, and the NC State camp and pick up games this summer have grown them even more. We had thought you might do golf in the spring, but you decided to do track to be with your friends and under Coach Nguyen. Coach mentioned how impressed he was with how quickly you picked up the new form. We are proud of you (and your maturity!) for owning this decision, for trying field events for the first time, and for demonstrating how coachable you are by your significant improvement in shot put. You were also a good fan to your teammates as the meets dragged on for many hours. No conversation on sports would be complete without mentioning your ability to convince us to let you watch so many sports on TV, including every NBA playoff game well into the night. Thankfully, Dad finally found the sport you will not watch…WWE wrestling!

Traveling to Zion and the Grand Canyon were memorable this year…well except for the fact that you were sick in bed for much of Zion.

Knox joined our family and we can always count on you to cover the morning shift and to get him chasing you/finding you in the evenings. He’s a fun dog and we will have a good time as a family watching him grow.

This time next year you will be heading to high school. Enjoy this final year of middle school—play hard, work hard, and have fun.

Love,

Mom and Dad

Sweet Sixteen

Dear Ellie,

Happy Sweet 16th to the sweetest girl! You truly are so precious, thoughtful, discerning, and level-headed. We consider it pure joy to be your parents and to shepherd you through this season of life. 

At age 15 1/2, you finally had your long-awaited (13th!) birthday trip with Nana and The Dude. You thoroughly enjoyed touring France and spending time with them. You had quite a travel year when you factor in the sabbatical trip to Oregon and Washington as well. 

In just a few days you will be a licensed driver. This past year of teaching you to drive feels like it has also been a chance for us to learn and grow. As you are growing in confidence and independence we are growing in trust and letting go. You are well suited to be a safe driver and we know you will enjoy the freedoms that come with it. Dad promises not to celebrate too loudly that you are taking over his role in the carpool rotation. 

Tenth grade has lived up to the reputation of being much harder than freshman year. Most of that can be attributed to APUSH and its demands, but you’ve also devoted more time to field hockey and friends. You have excelled at hard classes, won awards for your writing, and continued to actively pursue math and science courses. You’re beginning to research colleges and you have an eye on an engineering track. 

Though the field hockey season was challenging because of the commitment and drama associated with being double-rostered, you also got to be a part of a deep run in states and ultimately to share with your team the honor of being state runners-up. Now you will have a very different experience as you help lead your team through a rebuilding phase. Keep putting in the hard work off-season and have fun. 

Your friend group has solidified and deepened. You have enjoyed the holiday-themed events, 16th birthday parties and trips, and school dances that never fail to produce lots of fun and laughter. For your birthday, you and Reese invited your closest friends to the mountains for a few days and enjoyed hiking, shopping, good food, and lots of games and laughter. They are a great group of girls and your thoughtfulness and even-keeled nature makes you a friend to treasure. 

As you have grown this past year, your spiritual maturity has also been evident. Your participation in Young Life, your willingness to be a core part of the emerging Waypoint Youth Group, and your desire to have meaningful conversations with people shows a wisdom that far surpasses your contemporaries. Your humility in sharing with us your struggle with perfectionism revealed strong self-awareness and space for the Lord to speak His promises to you.

Last summer after spending more time away on excursions for camp than at the actual camp property, you decided to pursue a NOLS trip for this summer. We are excited for the adventure that awaits you backpacking and rock climbing in Wyoming this July. 

Overall, you are in a remarkably good place. You’re figuring out small things like what fashion trends you prefer, how to tolerate annoying teenage brothers, and how to manage your time. But you’re very strong and confident in the big things: your identity in Christ, your confidence in yourself, your dedication to pursuing academic excellence, your sense of hope about the future, your strong relationship to us, and your ability to balance all the intensity with moments of fun. Praise be to God!

This is a new season. We pray that God keeps you safe, that you continue to balance work and play, that you still want to join us for dinner, and that you will see God’s faithfulness as you make decisions about your future. 

Love always,

Mom and Dad