The best non-party

Given that the boys have a summer birthday, are between schools (and naturally between friends), and we had just returned from a month out of town, we decided against the tradition of inviting a few friends from school for a formal birthday party. In some ways I feel like celebrating three birthdays in one day already feels like a production reminiscent of Christmas and I was longing for something simple. Yet, I also feel like because we can kill three birds with one stone, we should have a respectable celebration and do it up right. Somehow I felt guilty about forgoing the party like I was being lazy about my mom responsibilities. However, I’m glad we kept to our original plan.

We invited our dear friends, the Snowdons, over to our pool for swimming, pizza, and play. It was perfect. All of the kids enjoyed time with their friends, there were enough adults, not too many kids, and just enough special touches to make it feel different than a regular day at the pool. One of my favorite moments was when James couldn’t blow his candle out and started grunting and roaring at it. As we got in the car to go home, Thomas reported that he, “Had the best time with Cooper and Marley.” Guilt gone. Birthday sufficiently celebrated.

Read Full Post »

Our Precious Four-Year-Olds

Since early in our triplet journey, parents who are further ahead in the journey than us have told us that four is the magical age. I seem to recall them saying that things got noticeably easier. Though we see small moments of this progress each year, I’m not holding my breath that any major changes are going to happen soon!

Enjoy our annual birthday letter tributes:

Jack,

Hooray! You’re four! You’ve been counting down this day for quite some time. When we think of you, what quickly comes to mind is your priceless smile and laughter. You are typically serious and you tend to be quiet and reserved, but when you get to laughing (especially at slapstick comedy in a show), it has us in hysterics. You also tilt your head to the side and nod when you ask us questions, like you’re trying to convince us of your position.

You have a serious love for Legos. You show great maturity and patience when it comes to constructing (and reconstructing) Legos. You generally want to build things that move, like trucks, carts, and cars, and sometimes garages and structures for them. Once, you even built bunk beds for your motorcycle men. You gave up your nap several months ago and it seems to be because your quiet time gives you a chance to work on your building projects in private without interference. Your other passion is NASCAR and race cars. You and dad went to watch Porsches race in Colorado. You loved to watch the cars go by and you wanted to stand next to each car. You’re still a selective eater, but we can occasionally get you to eat meat by convincing you that race car drivers eat it.

As for relationships in the family, you are most sensitive to others bothering you and you tend to whine about others interfering with you rather than feel empowered to stand up for your needs and solve the problems on your own. Interestingly, you recently resorted to licking your brothers as a way to get them to stay away from you. It seems to do the trick and doesn’t get the sort of punishment that hitting and pushing do. However, you and James started to play tackle football recently, but really it was the two of you rolling around on the ground laughing. You and Thomas have had some special moments as the two of you share a room consistently (James gets banished on a regular basis for being too lively). Although you two tend to create some problems (i.e. playing with water, breaking window blinds, and throwing clothes around), this relationship seems important as you develop relational skills. You also latched onto (cousin) Lewis this spring and you’ve taken to Mimi this summer; you ask for her to help you and you like to be with her. God has placed a tender heart within you where you love to laugh and play with people.

In addition to working on relating to peers and adults, you have been making great strides in speech therapy. You have weak jaw and tongue muscles, which complicate your situation. Witnessing your struggles allows all of us to build character, learn new skills, and reminds us of our dependency on God by having to go through something we can’t fix on our own.

We are so grateful you continue to grow into a healthy, smart, and sweet little boy.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

James,

Today you are four! You’ve been asking us for weeks when your special day would arrive. You continue to be a boy who regularly surprises us. We know you have strong opinions and express them emphatically, but you tend to like the things we thought you wouldn’t and dislike the things we thought you’d like. It keeps our heads spinning and ensures we have no energy unspent at the end of each day. You like to go at your own speed. This is a strength of yours but often puts you at odds with a “hussling” family. God has placed a strong will and personality within you, which will help you when you become a man as long as you also develop the important trait of self-restraint.

One thing that’s almost certain about you is your love of sports. You like to watch them, cheer for them, and play them. Most recently, you’ve focused on playing t-ball and football with dad and your brothers. You’re getting quite good. You don’t like things that are less skill-based and more exercise-based. For example, swimming, hiking, and biking are often met with much resistance. You don’t really have a preferred toy or activity and you like to switch activities regularly. You are most interested in good-guy and bad-guy pretend play. You also think that bathroom language is hysterical. It makes sense that we stereotype you as “all boy.”

Over the last few months, you’ve had a growth spurt. Your feet are at least a whole size bigger and your height a few inches taller when compared to Jack and Thomas. You like to show us your muscles and report that you’re getting big to play football.

Several months ago we moved you to the guest room to sleep. You were not happy about it, but it has helped everyone get more sleep. You have a unique sleeping pattern from the rest of us. In particular, you like to get up very early (4:30am at times). When you were with your brothers that was a problem because you guys liked to party. By yourself, you quietly play and read until a more decent hour. You also like to nap and often fall asleep in the car.

Thank you that you teach us to be better parents by keeping us on our toes. We are grateful for moments we get to spend with you alone as you have a very sweet and loving way about you. You’ll always be our little superhero!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Thomas,

Today is the day you turn four! You’ve been using bench marks like school being out, traveling to Colorado, and mommy’s birthday as you await your special day.

You bring us such joy with your tender heart, thoughtfulness, conversations that draw us in, and your genuine love for others. You crave attention and want people to like you as you regularly seek approval and affirmation for lots of things, including your outfits and your performance in sports or in designing crafts. For now, these are very endearing qualities that make you fun to be around. You continue to be sensitive, which usually means that you get offended easily and need significant comfort when you get hurt or are hurt by others. It makes sense that you have some moments of sadness and frustration to balance your moments of joy and contentment. Yet, you continue to mature. In the last year, you’ve become more independent and not needed mom to rescue you as much. You’re willing to try more things and not need to be held or by mom’s side.

You’re really loving t-ball and football these days. You’ve shown patience as we try to teach you and you’re willing to practice and accept correction. You’re hungry for your dad to praise you, and he is proud of the adventurous and carefree attitude you possess. As you seek the approval of others, though, you are learning to look to God’s approval of you.

You’ve gotten very good at your balance bike; we can’t keep up with you. You’re getting more comfortable in the pool and would like to go swimming more often than we do. Coloring, Playdoh, and stickers can entertain you for a long time. You’re also a fan of toys with some kind of “whoa!” factor to them, as you usually shout that and laugh when playing. Stomp rockets and crazy bouncy balls come to mind. You don’t necessarily come up with wild ideas, but you will follow along with and get energized by others who engage in rough and energetic play.

Thank you for your zest for life and for the joy and hope you bring us, especially on days when we are discouraged and weary. We see clearly how God has blessed us with your tenderness and energy in this unique way.

With a big squeeze….
Mom and Dad

Read Full Post »

School report

Ellie received her second report card last week and continues to excel in school. It’s clear she’s learning and growing well, despite coming in at an advanced level. It’s reassuring that her teacher is attuned to her areas of growth and finding ways to challenge her. Ellie continues to enjoy school and has little complaints about it.

Jack, James, and Thomas just had their preschool conferences. Wes and I were relieved and pleasantly surprised in many ways. It’s easy for us to get caught up in the day to day details and miss the bigger picture of what they’re doing and how they’re behaving. We were quite happy to learn that the boys are all bright, kind, respectful, and a joy to have in class. They clearly have their teachers fooled! It was funny, however, that some of the teachers’ observations were the complete OPPOSITE of how they behave at home. Those of you who follow the blog closely or know our boys well, will find some of these comments funny, too:

The teacher finds James to be extremely kind; he routinely gives up his toy if someone else wants it and he looks out for others. He loves all the different activities and centers in the classroom and engages in a variety of activities. I assure you that the following quote from his teacher are words nobody else has used to describe him: “a wonderful, loving, and gentle soul.” I’ve thought a lot about James today and wondered why I have a more negative perception of him. I’m blessed by this feedback from the teacher, as I think it liberates me and challenges me to love him with more grace.

Most of what the teacher reported about Thomas is consistent with what happens at home. His enthusiasm and eagerness stand out. What was surprising was her report that he is quiet. Thomas literally never stops talking at home. The teacher described Thomas as sweet, bright, sociable with lots of children, able to play rough and tumble and also sit attentively when required, and a quick and enthusiastic learner.

We spent a larger chunk of our time discussing Jack. Jack’s just a bit quirky in ways both positive and a little less so. The teacher reported that he enjoys manipulatives, puzzles, trucks, cars, and science or math activities. He’s also very talkative and inquisitive, and she said he frequently asks “why?” Her opinion that he’s a little delayed socially and emotionally was helpful. He seems to be functioning in these areas a few months behind his peers (and his brothers, in particular), which is probably why he seems a bit challenging to figure out at times. The sense is that he’ll catch up and figure it out on his own by grade school, but that for now, we’re just going to see him as a bit different from his brothers in some aspects of his development. At the same time, he’s quite bright and does well cognitively, so our work in speech therapy and in social skills are going to be most valuable. The following statement from the teacher was most poignant to me: “Jack loves to play with the guys (meaning his brothers and several other boys) and tries hard to keep up.” This tugs at my heart because I sense in it that he must feel a little discouraged and frustrated by all he wants to do and just can’t right now. He’s particular and perfectionistic and, as his mom, I just want to make things easy for him and give him opportunities to feel successful. It’s all minor stuff, but I want to be cognizant of what we can do to help him so that he can fully participate when he wants to and not feel like an observer or outsider.

Overall, we are extremely grateful and pleased and we have a lot to cherish. We try hard to do the best we can as their parents and we don’t often get much feedback that our work is paying off. Though much of these positive stories and attributes are well beyond anything we can take credit for, it’s still validating and encouraging to have a teacher’s perspective.

Read Full Post »

3×3.5

Three-and-a-half seems kind of old, doesn’t it?

Wes often remarks that triplet parenting is “efficient” parenting. Lately, I’m starting to feel it’s just ineffective. As they become less physically challenging (their basic needs are less demanding), they become more mentally exhausting (behavior and discipline). And, I think the mental stuff cannot be done efficiently, but rather it needs to be done intentionally and individually. I often think maybe I’m the one that should be going to preschool, just to learn a thing or two about managing several three-year-olds well. Our primary parenting tasks and challenges have been working on manners and conversational skills. It feels like we are constantly teaching them to not interrupt, to take turns in conversation, to use softer voices, and to say things only once and wait for someone to reply. Dinnertime and car rides are brutal lately. We’re also reminding them often to use their “walking feet,” stay in a straight line, and to hold hands. We are quite a spectacle around town.

Since I’m on a more negative streak, let me finish my frustrations and then move on the to the fun stuff. The three little monkeys in their beds each night are very maddening. This is probably the first time we’ve truly faced marital conflict about an ongoing parenting issue. One of us insists that the less intervention the better so that they will learn to regulate themselves over time. The other one feels that rules need to be firm and punishment swift. Regardless of who’s right, the evenings are loud and restless and we’re all looking for a bit more peace in the evening hours.

Though any given moment is frustrating, our overall family life is fun. The boys are very much into Curious George (“Monkey George” as they call him) books and James likes to memorize lines from the stories. I think James is the “good little monkey, but always very curious.” Our children have very little exposure to television and to characters and themes, but they have some sense of superheroes. Batman, Superman, and Spiderman come up in conversation, as do words like “bad guy.” Thomas invented his own superhero name, which I cannot completely recall, but which resembled ThomasBatmanSpidermanWinniethePoohAwesome. Certain times we see how much the boys appreciate having one another. In particular, when they engage in pretend play, they typically have willing participants in one another and they understand the same concepts, so they come up with something that makes all of them happy. Over Christmas, the Mary and Joseph reenactments were priceless. Recently, they’ve pretended to be pilots, firemen, and construction workers. If Ellie is around, it’s usually some of sort of “mommy” and “baby” play.

We did some daily devotions during Advent, and the boys have asked for us to continue reading the Bible to them daily ever since Christmas. They’ve also instituted bedtime prayers. My favorite is when they pray that they would stay in their beds, as if they just know they couldn’t possibly do it on their own volition. In case you’re wondering, it hasn’t seemed to help. Their spiritual interest reinforces the idea that children at this age are fairly agreeable and will adapt to what they’re exposed to. I’ve seen this with food preferences and media, too. I wonder how many things–broadly speaking–I’ve not given them full exposure to by falsely assuming they wouldn’t like it.

Speaking of exposure, the boys have started swim lessons. I am determined to have all of my kids in the pool this summer without fear. I’m sure it will be some time before they are safe and independent in the water, but just being willing to get IN the water will be major progress. So far, it’s gone pretty well. James hates it and cries much of the time. He has some fear issues. Jack and Thomas seem to have fun and I’m glad we are giving it a try.

Here are some more individualized reflections:

JAMES: I’m happy to report we’ve turned a little bit of a corner. I think Wes had a talking with James while Ellie and I were in CO. Since we’ve returned, I’ve noticed a conscious effort on James’ part to be kind. He’s been offering me hugs, thanking me more, and he’s not needing his ticket system we instituted in the fall. James continues to be independent, such as buckling the car seat and getting dressed. Ironically, he’s the slowest with bathroom independence. James has had no more major falls or stitches since the summer. He loves to be outside and he claims the only sport he wants to play is football.

JACK: Jack has some definite particularities. I think they bother Wes more than me, simply because I’m a bit more particular myself. He’s taken to crying when others take out a lot of toys and says, “It’s a big mess.” He is our most rule-governed and directions-following son, so I’m not sure if the mess truly bothers him in an OCD-kind-of-way or if he’s just afraid he’s going to get stuck cleaning up more than his fair share of the mess. Both are probably true to an extent. His whining is an ongoing challenge. I think he finally understands what whining is and that we are trying to get him to stop. Since he’s started speech therapy, I’m hoping it will all come together to get him to express himself in more clear and positive ways. Jack and James like to ride around together on their bikes. In his solo time, Jack can often be found building with Legos or Magformers, and it usually has something to do with cars and trucks. He recently built a garage for his trucks. There’s some intelligent processing going on with all of it, but I have to admit I’m out of my league.

THOMAS: How many times have I said something about Thomas being emotional? Nothing’s changed. From incredible laughter to fits of rage (complete with some remarkable foot stomping action), we see it all with him. He’s the most affected by the rowdiness at bedtime and often complains of being tired. He also seems sensitive to being hungry. I’m sure these play a part, but there is clearly something about the way he’s wired. For several months, he’s had an issue with crying when being left at church or school. We don’t say much about it, but he often reports back on whether he smiled or cried. “I not cry this time” is common. Thomas LOVES coloring. He wants to do some kind of coloring activity each afternoon. His signature style is to color every square inch of the paper in clusters of color. It’s quite impressive. I also give him credit for being adventurous in his eating lately, enjoying vegetables and salads. Thomas is a sucker for attention and loves to show off what he knows, particularly by spelling his name or being the first to recall a story or respond to a question.

Read Full Post »

Boys Will Be Boys?

Just a brief update that I need to write as much for my own memory as for your reading pleasure.

Our bedtime battles have been epic since the boys moved into beds two months ago. I should probably be grateful that they don’t get out of their room or call/cry for us. However, they disturb us in just about every other way. They’ve disheveled drawers and closets, broken blinds, run around the room and talked or sang loudly for hours into the night, woken up very early ready to play with one another, and generally done just about everything to prove to us we’ve lost all control over them. It’s truly not that dramatic and we have seen some improvements, but I must say the one thing I’ve always relied on is knowing we have a nightly 12-hour break. Now, it’s not so dependable. And, I’m not quite ready to do away with all afternoon rest to see if they’d be so worn out by bedtime that they’d just collapse. I’m afraid if I did this, I’d be the only one collapsing at 7pm.

What I’ve done for about a month–and what I really wanted to report on today–is separate them during nap/quiet time in the afternoons. Without that, the idea of nap or rest or break is impossible. I’d like to think it is for their benefit that they get the break, but it’s undoubtedly of great benefit to me. Several months ago we instituted a “Child of the Day.” It rotates between each child on a daily basis and this person gets the privilege of making some of the choices required that day (such as the the blessing at meals, music in the car, snacks, an activity, and the bedtime book). It seems to cut down on some disagreements when they know they will get their turn another day. I’m also beginning to implement a chore or task for the Child of the Day to increase their responsibility. Well, now the Child of the Day gets to be by himself in his room and bed during nap. This is where it gets interesting:

–James rarely sleeps on his day in his bed. Instead, he likes to stand on his bed and stare out the window (from which he methodically broke the blinds to create a permanent peep hole gap). He told me all about the trash truck and the method it has for picking up Christmas trees. When I ask him about how he spends his time in his room, he usually says something about watching things and being curious about what’s going on outside.

–Thomas usually sleeps heavily, but the days he’s in his bed, he snuggles, cozies up and rests very soundly. It’s like he’s grateful for his own bed and his own space without interruption.

–Jack is a bit of a wild card. He’s normally our most obedient child, but when it comes to time in his room, he’s our biggest problem (both when he’s with his brothers and alone). On one recent nap alone in his room, he got destructive with some toys and the blinds. Yet, on another, he had VERY NEATLY set out outfits for each of his brothers and himself and straightened out the sock/underwear drawer. He rarely sleeps in the afternoon whether alone or with the others.

I want to share one more funny story. Not too long ago, the children started wanting to hold hands during our blessing at dinner. James usually gets very upset if we don’t hold hands. However, Jack (who sits beside both Thomas and me) will hold my hand, but only extend his elbow to Thomas, who then gets hysterical. It is comical, but dinner rarely starts on a positive note when Thomas and Jack try to escape the hand holding at dinner (for T to not be rejected and for Jack to avoid it altogether) and James is doing his darnedest to make sure everyone does hold hands.

Read Full Post »

3 1/4 year-olds

Our boys are three months in to being three and seem like they are maturing at a rapid rate now.

Thomas has been less clingy, but he still demands some attention. Rather than needing to be picked up, he has tended to throw some raging tantrums. He also is persistent in expressing his feelings, such as by whining and crying for 25 minutes on a car ride home because I refused to get him his tote bag. Often, Thomas communicates his sensitivities to us. Most notably, he tattles a lot on his brothers and how they bother him and he also insists that even the slightest bump, scrape, or cut needs a Band Aid and/or ice. Though his temper and negative behaviors are strong, so are his positive ones. He has recently started to have the “evil laugh” when he is really excited about something. It is hard to describe the deep chuckle, but I know it (and giggle at it) when I hear it. He continues to charm people. His teachers report he is very pleasant at school and he loves his friend Davis. His sociability plays out a lot at home. He has been the ring leader in getting out of bed, turning on lights, and getting things out after being put to bed. His brothers encourage him and make requests. Though they stay in their room and are not terribly disruptive, the social hour(s) can often go on late into the night. We separate them at nap time so that they actually rest and give mom a quiet house for awhile.
The last few months we have seen some nice developments in Thomas. He led the way in potty training. He initiated it himself and it was a very easy process. He is counting a lot, improving in letter recognition, and he can even recognize the names of his classmates when they are written out (this is an important skill because he wants to identify who in his class is the designated Line Leader, Blessing Helper, etc. when they are posted on the bulletin board). Thomas has taken to coloring in the lines well and he has some very wonderful, colorful drawings and paintings that would make my college art professor proud. We started doing Soccer Shots for all three boys this fall and Thomas loves it the most. He gets very excited and wants recognition from the coach and me when he scores a goal.
A final Thomas-ism is his sense of style. He LOVES to dress preppy on top (polo shirt, sweater vest, rugby shirt, etc.), with sweat pants on the bottom. It’s hard to coach him otherwise, as he says, “don’t I look cool?” or “I’m handsome, mom!” And, Jack often tells him, “Dat’s a kuhl shurt Tomis!’ One thing that is also distinct about him is he doesn’t wear the same outfit very often and loves variety. At least somebody wears more than three outfits in a closet full of clothes!

If I think only quickly, Jack seems the least changed to me in the last few months. Physically, he seems only slightly changed, but he is so understated in his personality that it’s hard to recognize some of the other changes unless we deliberately bring them out. When I happen to get him alone, he chats up a storm (including asking what time it is each time he sees a different number on the clock!) and his speech has improved greatly. But, he is reserved in the family setting and prefers to keep to himself (though certainly not all the time), so he may be overlooked more than he should. Perhaps that’s why he still whines, just to make sure we are listening. He’s indifferent to school, simply because I don’t think he depends on the social outlet the way James and Thomas do. Yet, he never complains about it and seems to enjoy it. He persists in hoarding things. Hoarding his toys is nothing new, but he likes to go through the clean laundry and hide HIS underwear under his bed so that nobody else will take them. It is cute, but also a little sad that he has to resort to hiding them to have some boundaries.
Jack has a great sense of humor. With certain older (grandmotherly/teacher-type) women, he can get goofy and flirtatious. One of my favorite things is to find a way to make him laugh as he is fun and giggly. As his orderly mommy, I am very grateful for his overall compliance. He leads the way in doing chores (like clearing the table) and he follows directions swiftly and without dawdling, as long as it does not involve a bath or shower. Bedtime would be a lot smoother if his brothers decided to follow his lead!
When we signed the boys up for Soccer Shots, I was doubtful that Jack would participate. I was pleasantly surprised that it has kept his interest and he does fine with it.
Jack has his own personal “uniform.” I would call it “tacky.” He prefers camo pants, bright-colored sets that look like PJs, or overalls (not so tacky per se) with a mismatched shirt. He rotates through a very small set of clothes he prefers and expects that each one be washed upon his demand (sorry boy, no can do!).

I’ll start with a bit of an apology to James. I was complaining for several days about his hair looking “fluffy,” without doing anything about it. I guess my complaining had finally gotten to Wes, as he got the clippers out and nearly shaved James’ head. None of us were pleased with the results and I feel bad that James seemed a little stunned. He recovered a bit once he made an association between his new hairstyle and that of a classmate. So, if you think James looks like he went from 3-years-old to five overnight, you may be right. I will also congratulate James for being injury and stitches-free this quarter. Please keep it up!!!
James continues to be independent and developed in certain skills, such as dressing himself (including a coat!) and putting on socks and shoes. Even zippers and buttons are not a challenge for him. Ironically, he has selective inabilities, like using the bathroom or brushing his teeth when asked. If he wants to do something, he will do it well, but if not, then he avoids it as much as possible.
James has been loving school. He plays with several of the boys and mentions Jane a lot. Try saying Jane and James repeatedly. It gets very confusing. James has been reluctant to do art at school. He used to love it and Jack did not do it, so the tables have turned a bit. I try to show great enthusiasm when he does bring home a project.
What James is eager about is sports. He loves to grab a ball and play catch, kick the soccer ball around, and turn things into games/competitions/wrestling matches. He, too, has done well at Soccer Shots.
We spent some concentrated time earlier this fall working on James’ defiant behavior with a ticket system. He would start with a set number (3 or 5) of tickets and then he lost one each time he said “no” to us or didn’t follow directions. Once he lost his allotment for the day, he spent the rest of the day confined to his room, except for meals or required outings. It has improved his behavior some, but he still knows how to play the system and is not at all intrinsically motivated to obey. He will often think about something we’ve said, look at how many tickets he has left and determine his course of action. On the one hand, I laugh thinking of his intelligence and reasoning skills, and on the other hand, I’m bothered by his complete lack of respect for us and motivation to do the right thing. In addition to saying “no” a lot and with the most obstinate tone, he will hit Wes or me when he does not get his way. He’s proof that we cannot be lax in any way in our discipline or he will use the opening we give him.
The good news is that this is a side of James that few see. He seems able to regulate himself better around others, so we have done something right. Not that I don’t long for improvement on a daily basis at home, though. To end on a more positive note, James most definitely has a uniform: red thermal shirt and blue jeans. What’s worse, we have three identical pairs of jeans and shirts (purchased with the idea that each boy would have his own) and I do laundry almost daily, so it literally appears James wears the same outfit each day. It’s past the point of embarrassing me and is now just funny. Even his teacher commented that when he picked a costume out of the box at school, he would only wear Elmo. I guess we took things a little too far when we assigned the boys their own color as newborns (in order to keep things straight and organized for us).

Enjoy a few more photos from the last several weeks. …

Read Full Post »

Back to Preschool

The boys are back in school. Win-win for all. They have Mrs. Lyman for the 3s class and they are attending Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. It was a very smooth transition as we all know this routine and are comfortable with it. I quickly forget how reassuring it is to have Wes in the building with them and being able to meet up as a group at pick up time. I’m not going to wish away these precious preschool years. All reports were that it was a great day. Jack got to be the blessing helper and selected “Roll Around.” James was the weather helper, but he didn’t seem to understand or care. Thomas was the caboose. I hope that was okay, because he has been telling me a lot at home, “I don’t want to be last.” I guess even triplets are well aware of birth order. When he’s the line leader, I expect an enthusiastic announcement.

Here’s a final photo…it takes a million of these to get one good one.

Read Full Post »

Growing Boys

The boys each had their 3-year well check ups today. I spaced them out several hours in between. It was a bit odd and repetitive, but I feel like it allowed us to focus on the child of the moment. The children were very quiet and observant. I always learn something about them when on solo trips like this.

There were no real concerns at all. It is such a relief, yet, I left the doctor’s office after the third hour and thought, “this is it?” It was a bit of a production for routine matters. Still, we are very fortunate to have healthy and thriving children.

The most interesting part is the growth, of course. The doctor noted that at year three, they start measuring height (standing up) as opposed to length (lying down) So, sometimes it seems like growth slowed down this year simply because the measure changed.

JACK
Weight: 29lbs. (20%)
Height: 35.25in. (4%)

JAMES
Weight: 31lbs., 12oz. (50%)
Height: 36.75in. (24%)

THOMAS
Weight: 31lbs. (42%)
Height: 36.75in. (24%)

I thought it would be interesting to see Ellie’s three-year growth stats:
Weight: 34lbs. (79%)
Height: 37 3/4 in. (66%)

Read Full Post »

Third Birthday Festivities

This was the best birthday yet, since they had a better sense of what was happening. They also contributed to a lot of preparation and the activities. The biggest problem was explaining to them when they woke up on their birthday that they would not be getting cake for breakfast.

They had their final day of school camp on their birthday. I sent in napkins and cookies and they were happy. In the afternoon, we did cake and gifts as a family. It felt like Christmas there were so many presents.

We had a few friends for a Pizza Party. The kids decorated their own pizzas and cupcakes, made aprons, rode bikes, read a few pizza books, and played with water balloons (we pretended they we throwing pepperonis on a pizza). It was simple, but fun.

I’ll let the photos tell the rest.

Jack’s two favorite gifts

Read Full Post »

3x3x3

Our three turn three on the third!

Enjoy our annual tribute.

Sweet Jack,

Happy 3rd Birthday, buddy! It feels like you’ve gone from a wobbly and quiet toddler to an active young boy in just a year. We are both so glad to be your parents and to bear witness to your great health and the laughter you bring to our family.

You have a knack for finding humor in the simplest of things and responding with your infectious laugh. You like to point out the design on Mimi’s shirt and say, “Your shirt dirty, Mimi!” You also like to pick on people a bit (i.e. spraying them with water) and catch mommy doing something silly or forgetful. Your laughter is a great relief from times when you’re easily frustrated and resort to crying and whining. You’re very precise and particular about how you want things and you get easily frustrated when it goes wrong or you’re not able to get things/toys to function as you desire. You and mommy have bonded well over this and she likes to prevent people from interfering with something you’ve worked hard on. Your dad and your brothers, however, seem to like to pick on you. It’s a blessing that this lends you to be rule-abiding and cooperative, and we pray that these traits continue to develop in you as you grow.

Your speech is much-improved from one year ago. You often appear shy or bashful as you tend to ignore questions people ask of you or refuse to say or sing something you know. You’re very intelligent, so it appears you see no point in showing off your smarts to others. At the same time, you don’t know that we hear another side of you. When you’re off with James and Thomas and should be napping, we hear you leading conversations, directing play, and singing loudly the songs you refuse to sing in our presence. We’re intrigued by this mysteriously bolder side of you! It seems that you, more than any of your brothers, are inquisitive and bombarding us with endless “Why?” questions.

You are good at finding ways to engage each of your siblings, but you do seem to enjoy playing by yourself. In fact, you are very good at playing independently and entertaining yourself for quite some time…at least until someone comes to interfere. Puzzles and cars continue to be your obsessions. You are also an agile climber. Furniture, walls, cribs, and play structures are not intimidating to you. You are a spry boy with small features. Yet, you are not overly energetic or restless. We pray your independence and inquisitiveness will help you develop confidence as you explore the world.

One aspect of your life that seems to tie together many parts of your personality is your selective eating. Your preferences appear, at least to us, to be arbitrary and unpredictable. You determine your dislike for something simply by its color, appearance, or presentation. You emphatically refuse to even try a small bite of anything you’ve determine not to like. This demonstrates your sense of knowing what you want and how you want it. Meal times usually bring out most of your whining and intensity. As a positive spin, it gives you an outlet to express your assertiveness and challenges us as parents to teach you rules, respect, and compromise.

We are grateful for another year of creating new memories with you and learning more about the person God has created you to be. Thanks for challenging us to do better, for being easygoing and generally easy to predict, and for reliably making us laugh.

Love always,
Mommy and Daddy

—————————————————-
Dear James,

You’re now a big three-year-old! You win the award for the child with biggest life change this year. This time last year, you had no energy, whined frequently, and were ALWAYS wanting to be held by mommy. Since getting ear tubes in December, you have boundless energy, speak much more, and are very independent. In fact, where once you were tied to mommy’s hip, we’ve now had to retrieve you several times when you’ve wandered off. We also caught you body slamming and grunting while playing in the bouncy house; this is truly nothing like before. We’re sorry it took us so long to get you the help you needed. However, it brings us great joy to see your contentment now.

We could also argue that you are the most changed physically, because you’ve recently had some major cuts to your face from falling. You’re a bit accident prone and sensitive to any kind of injury, including countless skinned knees. You demand Band Aids for even the most minor scratch and you’d prefer they stay adhered for weeks. You puzzle us a bit because you’re cautious around some dangerous things, yet you’re mischievous, you like to do things you know you shouldn’t, and you endlessly test limits. There’s a clear resistance you have to our parental authority and you will fight to get what you want. Breaking things and refusing to do your chores are predictable (mis)behaviors for you. We are learning to be creative in our parenting. Many people remark how closely you resemble daddy. Maybe your cuteness coupled with your defiance come from him? This desire to push boundaries allows you to develop and explore new things, but it can also put you into risky situations. We pray that your strong will will also be tempered with a humble heart.

Your determination leads to your remarkable self-sufficiency. You’ve been dressing yourself for many months and with great ease. You have been quick to attach yourself to a certain outfit and insist on wearing it whenever it is clean. In the winter, it was brown pants and a red shirt. In the summer, it is orange shorts with an orange striped shirt. You also insist on wearing Ellie’s pink animal print sunglasses and not your own. Negotiating with you on these matters is a lost cause and we choose not to fight these battles.

You are open-minded in ways, too, as you eat a variety of new foods, even gourmet or spicy ones. You are also very cooperative in playing with Ellie and allowing her to direct a lot of your play. And, before we ever become too frustrated, you often come up with something funny or cute to remind us why we love you so much. For example, we think it is very cute that you think the word tomorrow is “at morrow.” And, you pronounce anything with “berry” as “betty,” as in “strawbetty.”

One thing we know we need to focus on more with you is sports. You pay close attention and seem to pick up quickly on skills we demonstrate. You loved playing putt putt and golf with dad. You are first to the T-ball set, and you enjoy throwing a ball around. As you, Thomas, and Jack continue to develop your own interests, we suspect you’ll find your niche in the sports arena.

We are excited for another year of seeing the “new” James develop. You seem primed and motivated for big things and we are eager to explore with you your talents, gifts, and interests.

We love you,
Mommy and Daddy

—————————————————-
Dear Thomas (aka “T,” “T-Dog,” “T-Man”),

Happy 3rd Birthday, big boy! We don’t actually call you by your nicknames very often, but something funny usually happens when we do. Sometimes you tell us your name is “T,” other times you correct us and say, “I not T-Man, I T-Dog” and other times you make it clear that you’re only answering to the name, “Thomas.” Because you are such a verbal and expressive boy, you let us in to who you are and we enjoy very much what we see.

You have very good manners and are becoming sensitive to others. It’s not uncommon for you to say something encompassing all of your kind words, such as, “Please get me milk, mommy….”Thank you, Welcome!” in one very fast sentence. You’ve also learned to assert yourself. When everyone gets talking at once, you grab mommy’s arm and say, “Let me talk now!” If you do something that generates a laugh, you often do it repeatedly to keep looking for the laugh. We try not to disappoint.

After James got tubes and very quickly wanted to be held less by mommy, you swooped in. It seems like you’re still finding your place since James shifted his role as you sometimes have a lot of energy and independence and sometimes your sensitivity manifests itself by you saying, “Mommy, pick up me” all day long. Dr. Ball remembers one of your first appointments as an infant where she picked you up and you clung close. She often reminds us that you’re the snuggler. Even at age three, you seem to like close touch and affection. It also seems like you have learned to gain most of Mom’s attention by requesting to be held. You have to share most things in life, but you really don’t want to have to share your mom, too. Other relationships are important to you as well; you like to be front and center around other kids. You speak often of your friends at school. And, in learning your letters, you like to associate letters with your friends’ names rather than with objects. You also started your brothers on a game of identifying eye color among people and stating who is similar. It is important to you that you, Jack, Ellie, Nana, and mommy have blue/green eyes and that James, Daddy, and Savannah have brown eyes. Your extroversion is a strength that draws people in, and we pray you can use this to build deep friendships and spread your love for life with others.

You enjoy playing with trains (Thomas the Train, of course), kitchen toys, and anything else that someone is playing with. You like the companionship, at least for awhile. Books are a hit with you, too. You very quickly memorize the refrains. Your favorite book is “Owl Babies” by Martin Waddell. It’s fitting since it is a story about three baby owls who adore their mother and miss her when she’s gone.

We regularly thank God for you, for he blessed us with a boy who is very tender and fun. You may be the baby of the family, but you have a big presence that we’d never want to do without. We eagerly anticipate another fun year with you.

Love and hugs,
Mommy and Daddy

Read Full Post »